ecoTrain QOTW: "SHARE A STORY ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE NATURE EXPERIENCES.
WHY IS CONNECTING WITH NATURE IMPORTANT?"
It was October 2012 and I was dying inside.
I stared ahead at my blurred computer screen, my husband's voice already drifting into the background... Another rejection.... at least that's how it felt. It had been a roller coaster of emotions. Adopting a child should not have been this difficult! But, somehow, it just was. In fact, it was damn hard!!! So damn hard that some days I actually didn't know how much more of the process and experience I could take; it had broken me... over and over again. It was a long two years in the system but I kept getting up; each heartbreak, each rejection just seemed to strengthen my resolve.
It had been two years since we had started the official path to adoption, but deep within my heart, my search for the missing pieces had started many years before.
I fought back the tears for a brief moment and then decided that it was just not worth the effort it took...and so instead I allowed them to flow... without shame.
It may not be now
I had thought at the time
... but...
I would be a Mom someday, that much I knew!
We had just poured everything, once again, into another adoption application, and once again, we had made it to final selection between two prospective sets of parents. Once again, the other couple had the edge... a stay-at-home Mom, a medical practitioner, with an established support group consisting of close family. And so, we had come second... again... and with ADOPTION, there are no prizes for second place馃槩
Now, what does this have to do with ecoTrain's QOTW you might ask?
Everything鉂ｏ笍
...but we'll just hold that thought for a moment, shall we?
My happy place... hands down...
... the mountains.
There is something about the exhilaration of a mountain walk or hike, the fresh air, the exercise, the sheer beauty of the vistas that rise up to greet me, and the endorphins... and that's just for starters.
But, what comes next are truly the best bits... when you immerse yourself in nature, when the journey up the mountain path raises a mirror to your own life. When suddenly, instead of looking out at the beauty of the scenery all around you, you have this realisation and appreciation that you are part of that scenery. You are a part of what makes this intrinsic experience so meaningful, so beautiful, so special. And you pause for reflection. You take a deep breath... and then you look inwards...
...and life takes on a whole new meaning.
This is how it is for me whenever I climb a mountain.
With every step that I take along the path, with every breath that I breathe in, there is a connection that is taking place as I fall in step with its heartbeat: synchronicity at its best. It's nothing short of a very personal and spiritual experience.
It's always emotional, a catharsis. I find myself at peace. I have clarity. I have acceptance. What happens to my perspective on life is beyond my earthly comprehension... but it is a complete release of everything that is bringing me down at the time, holding me back; it's a surrender to the guiding hands and light of an entity, way greater than myself. It is renewal. It is quite simply, Divine.
And so there is no surprise that after receiving the news from the Adoption Agency again, my first thought after the initial disappointment was...
I need to climb a mountain.
BUT!!! I need to find a very specific mountain to hike up... I had felt the overwhelming need to be back home... and by home, I meant South Africa... and I had felt the need to be in my beloved 'berg (The Drakensberg Mountains). Well, this was not possible at the time, so next best thing, right? I told hubby, I need a mountain that looks and feels like my 'berg hehe.
Image of the Amphitheatre in the Drakensberg Mountains by Lucas Bischoff in Canva Pro Library
So I started searching and I found it!
It is a mountain in the Lake District in Northern England. It is the duality of being both beautiful and dangerous - I expected nothing less of such a majestic mountain. And it has a name...
Simon Ledingham, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
We found a lovely little b&b to spend the weekend and on the Saturday morning, grabbed some walking maps from the local corner shop and hiked up that gorgeous mountain and literally got lost in it's beauty. And I mean literally!!!
The fog rolled in (we had been warned about how quickly it can happen) and at one point we could not see more than a few metres in front of us. So we kept leaving little markers of stones along the way, every 10 metres, foolishly pushing forward up the mountain. When the fog eventually cleared a little, we could hear voices and we popped out along Striding Edge at a little turret of sorts where there were three youngsters hanging out, riding out the fog. It was at that point that we realised that there was a sheer drop to our left, to certain death, and a more gently sloping drop off to our right down to the lake. The angels were certainly looking after us!
We sensibly decided to call it a day, not having reached the summit which was only another 50 metres or so ahead of us, but along a dangerous ridge which still had some swirling fog. So we followed the kids down the scramble from Striding Edge to the lake below, and then hiked back to the village before checking back in at our b&b. We may not have been entirely successful climbing that mountain, but I did return from the weekend, happy once again. I had a new found sense of calm... what would be would be. I surrendered to it all and decided to put my trust back in faith.
We arrived home to a brown envelope pushed through the letterbox in our front door.
Inside was a simple note from our social worker and a single page of information with some photos.
There was the most precious little boy staring out from the pages and we fell in love with him straight away. We met him 17th January 2013 馃挆 and he is now the most wonderful young man who we are proud to call our son, Oliver.
We are now proud parents of 9 and 11 year old boys, our two beautiful angels, with Oliver headed off to High School in September and Jack heading into his penultimate year at Primary School.
If we are prepared to embrace Nature, to be still and take our intended place within it; allow it to touch us deeply, we can learn so many wonderful lessons and receive so many blessings from it. We can learn to have patience, be resilient, find hope, and invest in faith. So many analogies to our own lives can be found within it's totality and it is truly the greatest artwork and teacher of all time.
Hellvellyn image by Simon Ledingham, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Image of the Amphitheatre in the Drakensberg Mountains by Lucas Bischoff in Canva Pro Library
All other images taken by me or my husband on my personal camera and used with permission.
Dreemport banner used with permission of 
