'5' Fun Facts.... Lil Jokes...

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Johnny: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Johnny: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

Sign on motorway garage
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.

Bad News
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

How Can I?
Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?
Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

America's Discovered
Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: George!