There are times and moments in life that no matter your level of accomplishments, no matter the effort you put with good motive and motion, you're left staring at the ceiling around midnight with alot of pain and silent ache in your mind. You always wonder why despite the facts that you met deadlines given to you for delivering a project, work or service's, despite the fact that your targets were on point and you went beyond everything reaching a new milestone, you're still left wondering why does it not feel like it's enough.
You keep wondering is it the 9-5 grind that doesn't give you breathing space at all and always stretches into the late night or is it the fact that you sacrifice your passion as you chase productivity or the never ending cycle of trying to obtain perfection by chasing approval from others always and fearing failure.
Then you ask yourself "what's the point" because this "endless cycles" never seem to end as if it was programmed specifically for you like a loop hole where you cannot break free from making you feel as if you have been running on a treadmill breathless and sweating profusely but nothing seems to happen and your objective of getting somewhere feels truncated.
The promotions you were aiming for seems far fetched and is just a blur, the praises you get when you deliver exceptionally on a given task still do not seem to quiet the restlessness within you, perhaps it's the ups and downs of your emotions that comes as a result of comparison where you scrutinized, analyze and scroll through other people's lives that seem more put together, more successful and more beautiful than yours.
But just maybe all this feelings that you are having, all this questioning that arises from within you that makes you feels unease is a sign of awakening and not a sign of weakness as you might have thought because of the fact that you are checkmating other people's lives that is more organised, more easygoing and more successful than yours.
This cycles might feel like invisible cages where you do what's expected of you regardless of the pain and circumstances involve, you keep moving forward with conviction in your heart but in the silence your soul whispers to you, is this all there is?
But the answer is no, because feeling fulfilled does not come through the pace of our progress but the intentions and purpose that is behind it, because when you stop looking for validation always and start giving meaning to your purpose then you will see the alignment in everything, because sometimes the fulfillment we are seeking does not come from the addition being made to our life's but from removing the noises, the pressure and also the expectations that were never ours to begin with.
Don't feel left out or alone because you ask the question "what's the point" because the answer is within and not out there, just waiting for you to listen. So ask yourself what kind of life will I choose even if no one applauded? That's where your fulfilment begins and also where your truth lies.
What truly lights you up?
Thank you for taking your time to read and engage
#BeBlessed
