In Three States
My walls once stood as solid ice,
built from certainty,
a frozen fortress, grounded in logic,
my world behind, a thin facade.
When cracks appeared,
everything I held true lost light,
dissolved what once was firm,
panic rising as ground gave creaking way,
a sharp, cracking sound,
an opening to an unfamiliar void.
Below, my boundaries melting,
thoughts rushing like rivers breaking banks,
a drowning current,
groaning,
plunging me deeper every time,
an endless tide of fear and doubt,
swallowing safe familiar ground.
Now my weight has turned to air,
a vapour that drifts and shifts,
thin, elusive, shy,
lost in a vast, uncertain sky,
no shape to grasp, no substance to hold,
no surface left but changeable clouds,
the play of mist and wind.
Yet reform happens,
I am reborn again to solid form.
Embracing the cycle,
this infinite dance of self-renewal,
and re-emergence in every fall.
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I have linked my water in three states prompt to the unravelling of the human mind and someone losing their idenity, before finding it again. So in essence it's about rigidity, transformation and ultimately resilience and rebirth. It's born out of my experience of a mental breakdown and the eventual rebuilding of personhood that accompanied it.
