Donkey Kong- The main character. He's strong, violent, and addicted to bananas.
Diddy Kong- I think he's Kong's younger brother? Or inbreeding hit new highs.
King K Rool- He stole all your bananas. That's it. Talk about lame. Consider the fact that bananas rot quickly. How could Kong store so many bananas, in pristine condition? Why the hell would a meat eating Lizard, King Rool, need bananas? This is one of the best game created villains ever according to, Gamespot.
Gramps- He's old, recaps the past a lot, and has a hatred for plumbers.
Hot Looking Ape Candy Kong- If women don't shave, could they look like her? We'll never know.
Surfer Ape- He helps you travel the game world with his plane, made entirely out of a barrel?
Batman- I am Batman!
Another peaceful day on the tropical island. The Kongs wake up and go to their day jobs. Donkey Kong goes outside to check his banana stash hidden in a cave. When Kong enters, he finds the cave is empty! Batman arrives and tells Kong his bananas were stolen by the joker. After much debate, you realize the real villain is, King K Rool. He plans on starving out the apes by stealing their food supply. I think? I mean you can find bananas all over the game. They are more plentiful than coins in Mario Brothers. So starvation is impossible.
Kong travels the island until he comes to a pirate ship. On board is Rool. The entire Kong family arrives soon after to help. You engage in a vital conversation.
Donkey Kong, "Eeeeh ahaha aah heee ha."
Diddy Kong, "Ooh ooooh uh!"
Donkey Konkey, "Bhe ah he ah ah hee."
Gramps, "Eh eeeh eh. In my time ooh oohh ah."
Surfer Ape, "Ge ha ah ah dude."
Everyone, "..."
King K Rool, "What the hell are you saying?"
Donkey Kong, "Eh oooh ah ah ha."
Diddy Kong, "Ooo oh ha he ack ah."
King K Rool, "? Screw this. Take your stupid bananas back! I'm going to sail the seven seas for real treasure."
Gramps, "Eep! Ekk ya ha in my time."
Donkey Kong, "Oooh oh uh eh eh?"
Batman suddenly emerges and says, "Where's the joker?!"
Donkey Kong, "Ah eeeh ya ah ooh."
Batman, "Oh right. I'm talking to apes."
Batman looks up. A lone cloud can be seen in the sky.
Batman, "?! The bat signal!"
Batman leaves as quick as he arrived. No bat signal can be seen.
Candy Kong enters and says, "Ohh oooh la la."
Gramps, "Tramp."
