There I was, as I stood looking at my reflection in the long Brown frame mirror of my huge, plumpy, and oversized body. What has become of me over the past few years? I just couldn't accept the sudden changes.
The world looks down on me, sees me as a pig, some people call me lard-ass which is so offensive. Some of my friends find it difficult to hang out with me in public because they are ashamed of my body size, which sometimes makes me feel stigmatized. "Why me?" I kept asking myself that question: Why didn't my parents control the rate at which I consumed fast foods? I thought to myself.
Today is a big day for me leaving home and going to a boarding school. Far away from my family and everyone that did love. I couldn't handle the idea of leaving, changing location, learning new stuff, and meeting new people. Will they accept me the way I'm? Or maybe they will see me as a shy fat insecure girl. The only person I could confide in this thought is my mother. She sees the beauty in me from the inside to the outside because she understands my pain and discomfort. Her love for me is unique.
My parents were happy for me, as they made plans for my school and even intended to drive me to my new school which was a nine hours drive from home. But still, I wasn't satisfied, I wasn't keen to leave. I sat on my bed wondering about what living without my parents would be like. Am I ready to face whatever challenges that come at me? Will I be stigmatized? Will I be able to make any new friends? And will they accept me? Just as I was engaged in my thoughts then I heard a knock on my door.
"Yes, who's that?" I replied reluctantly.
"Laura… It's mom." She replied in a calm tone.
"Come in mom."
My mum came in talking about how my family members reacted to the change of my school, then she stopped and noticed that I was moody. She halted, walked towards my direction, and slowly sat next to me without making any utterance.
She was silent with me for a minute, then moved closer to me and called my name in a calm and confronting way.
"Sarah" she called my name.
I slowly turned my face towards her in pity as tears in my eyes, couldn't control the tears, then she drew me closer to her and rested my head on her shoulder, as she brushed my back slowly.
"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay dear." Her hands kept brushing slowly on my back, as it stopped my tears.
"Why are you crying, my Laura?" She said to me with a gentle voice.
"I don't want to leave Mum."
"Why Laura?"
"I'm nervous. Scared of being stigmatized by everyone because of my body size. Scared of being lonely. Scared of leaving and not seeing you again." I murmured.
"Oh, baby, you don't have to cry. I am glad you opened up to me, you've been keeping this pain and stigma all to yourself alone, and I'm glad you let it out. Baby girl, I want you to know this. There's hope waiting for you in the dark, a hope waiting for you out there in the world, shining like a light. So you shouldn't let this pull you down baby. And you should know you're beautiful just the way you are. You don't have to change anything to please anyone, but the world can change its heart and see the real you. So no matter your body size or scars, you're lovely Laura. People will say things, things that are offensive and they may make your heart. But soon they will come to understand the significance of having you in their lives. So, my dear, you cheer up."
Then she lifted my head, as I let out a cheerful smile.
"So Baby girl, what do you say? Should we go? Or stay?"
I smiled at her, "Yes mum, let's make this happen."
We arrived at my school. It was huge, filled with different people, faces, and skin colors. I was scared to step out of the car. Then I remembered what my mother said to me and kept playing in my head. I kept glancing from the car windows, then I sighted some group of overweight girls like me. They were happy together like they didn't care what the world thought of them as they walked into the building.
Then I said to myself, "You can do this. You are beautiful just the way you are."
With confidence, I opened the car door, stepped out of the car, then looked at the mirror and smiled, as I said goodbye to my parents. We parted ways.