I just automatically prepended a "so" to your title because that's what I did the first time I encountered this sentiment in myself XD

Online the where is anywhere that isn't driven by algorithms that are intent on people only seeing highly specific things. So basically NOT any of the platforms that everyone thinks is "stupid" not to have an account on because "everyone" is there. The amount of time you waste trying to get noticed on there is probably equivalent to the amount of time you'd "waste" learning how to self host your own website or working on niche little things like here or Mastodon which will eventually get indexed.

Not getting the traction you'd hoped for in a specific area does suck. But it sounds like you're doing alright in other areas (with the performances and stuff) and making pretty good progress with the recording and video making and all, so be as upset as you need to be but try not to let it get you down too much :)