The reading, the writing, the mathematics, how to field strip an AK-47. The essentials

I fully expected this and still laughed XD

That's a messed up upbringing for a kid but at least less messed up than possible reasons for being in a cardboard box at the back of a rich person's house x_x (I mean if you're being really optimistic maybe it's an illegal adoption and the guy was just gettng her out of a serious poverty situation where she would have died or been sold into slavery x_x)