Thoughts on the consequences of saying "no" | Sparked by the movie 300
So, since some of my videos aren't playing on Dtube, Ive uploaded this one here
So... This might be a bit of a silly rant.
A few days ago I watched the movie 300 for the first time. It's been on my "to watch" list for ages, but I tend to not sit at home alone and watch a movie unless someone watches it with me. This time was no exception, and my brother and I watched the movie together.
Before I get to the part of the movie I wanted to talk about, please note that there is a spoiler here, if you, like me, wait for about 3-5 years to watch a new movie.
So, there's one character there, that ends up being pretty bad- a deformed Sparten solider wanting desperately to be a part of the army fighting against the Persians.
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He begs the king to allow him to fight, and the kind rejects him because of his inability to join the formation of defense, due to his deformity (he cannot hold the shield up high enough).
What does this dear rejected solider do?
Why of course, he has to avenge the rejection and find his place in the world. So he goes to the enemy- to the Parsian army- and gives them the Sparten's secrets, and that ends up being the 300's downfall.
What bothered me about such a simple, standard movie conflict? That it is standard. While watching the first scene with the deformed solider, I knew where the rejection would lead. And when I turned out to be right, I was disappointed for 2 reasons:
- It was predictable,
- It was predictable- which means it's not the first time I've seen something like this happen in a movie.
Let me explain the second point
The fact that the moment this solider was rejected I knew what was going to happen, means I've watched quit a few cinematic moments similar to it. And that got me thinking about how movies and TV display rejection.
Rejection is a part of life, it's something we should be able to do and accept. But if you are a people pleaser (much like yours truly), you have a difficult time saying "no" when it's needed.
But even worse, most of us grow up not really being tought how to manage our emotions when someone rejects us- how to not let it destroy our confidence on the one hand, and not feel the need to hurt them back on the other.
But when movies feature rejection as something with dire consequences, we start to get conditioned to think that is true.
Now, I'm not saying that people have a difficult time rejecting each other and accepting rejection because of movies. I'm saying that it reflects an unhealthy consensus about what rejection is and what it leads to.
Saying "no" should not lead to revenge, and being said "no" to does not give any of us the legitimacy to act out. And honestly, basing the main turning point of a movie on it feels a little too predictable.
That was me, ranting about 300 and rejection. But hey, I still enjoyed it!
See you in the next post;)
Ruth.
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