Growing up, my parents were very strict and back then I used to think they were just too harsh but later on, I learned it's part of their way of training my siblings and me to be better.
I would say the way parents discipline their children differs in different countries, though I haven't left my country of the things we read and also watch from movies, I can't say the way parents discipline their children in some countries is the way different from the way our Nigerians parents discipline us.
I would watch some movies and see the parents telling their kids, "Go to your room" or something like "You are grounded" and just shake my head because, with our parents, a factory-resetting slap should do the trick.
Back then, I got my fair share of whips and lashes, being the first daughter it's like I am responsible for taking the punishment even for your younger ones.
My dad was strict(I like to think he's grown soft now). He doesn't give me punishment frequently, he gives several warnings and will let me know that the day he will finally descend on me, I wouldn't know what hit me, and days like that do come no matter how much I like to stay out of getting into trouble.
My mum is another case entirely. She not only used words but also body language to communicate with me and I will feel the wrath whenever I disobeyed her.
As children, we were always taught not to receive food, money, or anything at all from strangers and my siblings and I always adhered but what about acquaintances? My mum and I will visit a friend of hers when she offers us food, especially because people love giving out to children more. Before I could give my response, my eyes, like in default mode would quickly look to hers for approval. I will know from her facial expression If I am to politely turn down the food or agree to have some.
One thing about my parents is that they are not predictable in terms of punishment, sometimes they let me off with a warning when I would have been expecting them to give me some kind of punishment. Another thing I know they will never do no matter what I did is to deny me food and as a foodie myself I can never reject food because I was being punished, how will I replenish the strength lost from all the tears I shed?
The worst punishment I got from my parents happened when I was younger. It happened that a friend of mine whose mum sells herbs always hawks her mum's herbs after school and part of the weekend. When she gets back from school, she immediately carries the goods that would have been arranged neatly on a tray for her, and off she goes.
Hawking is a term used for someone who sells their goods on the road, going from street to street to generate more income for the family.
It is common amongst teenagers back then and my friend is one of them. This kind of put a strain on our friendship which mostly involves playing as I only get to play with her on Sundays which is her day off.
So one day I thought of ways we could spend more time together and I told them that I would follow her one weekend that my parents would not be around. My mum sells soap back then at home as a way of making extra income.
So that weekend, Saturday to be precise, my dad went to work and my mum was to attend a wedding ceremony, which left me the opportunity to carry out my plans. So immediately she left, I took a tray and took lots of soap, placed them on my head and went to wait for my friend at the place we agreed to meet and when we also came with her wares, we took off happily.
We walked for miles, playing on the road as usual. I was so happy that day as I thought I had found a way to spend time with my friend. The money I made that day from selling soap was spent on sweets and junk which I shared with my friend.
We didn't know we were going too far because we were so carried away. The plan was that we would get back before my mum got back so she wouldn't suspect a thing.
With no phone or a way to check time, we went into more streets, stopping midway to play and then going again. Before we could, say, Jack, we noticed the sun had begun to set. That was when we decided to hurry back. But then the distance home would be a very long one, so we tried walking fast but that didn't help us as we stopped at some point to catch our breath.
By the time we got home, it was already dark. I was only wishing my mum stayed late at the party, so I wouldn't be dealt with. But it seemed, I was fated to just receive that whip.
We were in our street when the whole place was filled with people. It happened that everyone was looking for me. I saw my mom on the floor, looking down, with people around her, some telling her "Don't worry, we will find her", that was when I knew I was done for.
When my mum saw me with a tray on my head, she said nothing but her eyes said it all. Our neighbors around chastised me for not telling anyone where I went and caused everyone to worry. Even my friend didn't tell her mum because I didn't want anything to spoil my plans.
My mum thanked everyone and they all went back to their homes but she said nothing to me which was a problem for me as I was walking on eggshells around her. After I had eaten and had my bath. It didn't take long for my dad to get back and after he had settled in, my mum narrated what had happened to me and you can guess right, that was where my punishment began, they flogged me and also gave me other punishment.
It was the next day my mum had to sit me down and let me know that it would have been better if I had gone to play because what broke her heart was seeing me with a tray going to Hawk as they had both vowed to work hard not to let their children hawk like they did. I learned my lessons after that day.
Thank you all for reading.
Images used are mine.
