Chapter 2
I was on a beach next to Dan, where he would tell me again and again why he loved me. I stared at his eyes; It was almost impossible not to be able to feel a thousand emotions at the same time as he spoke. Every time I finished saying a phrase I said: "Dan I love you, do not leave me". He watched me as if he longed to be with me and again repeated the above ...
I started to open my eyes. Everything was blurry for me, especially when a white light shone directly on my face, which blinded me even more. I looked around with a better vision; denoting with detail the room: everything was so pale and depressing; its walls were bright white, there was a window that looked out onto the corridor, which looked a bit desolate. On my right side was a metal support, which communicated some kind of solution that ran through the thin hose to reach a needle inserted in my hand, which hurt a little. I was lying down now feeling my body almost without strength, as if I had been in the same position for centuries; I had a bandage on my head, but now I could sense that it also had wires all over my body, and some connected to other devices that were behind me.
I looked again at the window, noticing that my parents were there with my brother, they were talking to a doctor. Apparently they had arrived and I'm sure they talk about me. While I was watching them, I thought about that beautiful dream I had, but at that moment like a flash, all the memories of that afternoon came to me: Each image of the shock, Dan's face smiling at me again and again, and as if I had a team at full volume I heard that thunder of the beam before the impact. Where are you going? How will you be? A tear fell on my cheek and at that same moment my parents, my brother and the doctor looked at me through the window, and with great joy, almost running, they opened the door of my room and my mother said.
-Welcome again to the sister world, you had us worried.
Behind them came the doctor, with what appeared to be my clinical history and says.
-Definitively this has been a miracle. Andrea, you had a month in a coma, almost brain dead.
brain death?. I did not respond to that.
He began to check my vital signs and added.
Almost unable to speak and with a falling tear I said.
Everyone began to look at each other and the doctor responded not without first emitting a sigh.
The doctor looks at me sadly, but without saying anything he retreats.
That had been a bullet in my temple, how was it possible that this happened?
Again in slow motion I saw my mother and father trying to calm me down. I felt that I did not breathe, my tears fell without stopping, everything had become stunning for me. A great pain appears in my chest and in my stomach, where I could feel that every part of me was cut off, completely torn. Nurses came running in and injected me in the leg; apparently it was a sedative, because I had stopped crying and moving abruptly, but although I could not move the pain did not disappear.
Soon I had fallen asleep. Dan had once dreamed on the beach, but then this was erased by another dream where again and again, rays were propelled to earth, destroying hundreds of trees along with me.
During the following days everything remained the same: I remembered that catastrophic accident, now intensified at night, because I had innumerable nightmares. Where, at first the nurses came running to me to try to calm me down, but seeing the frequency of my attacks, everything was he mitigated, they simply did not pay me any more attention. I was visited for many hours by a physiotherapist who helped me perform small movements, just to be able to walk correctly. That although many times I did not feel like doing it, it was the right time to distract me a bit from the memories. All this happened on a routine basis until I had finally been discharged.
My parents had come in with a broad smile, between their hands they had clothes for me and my mother said.
-Good morning honey, it's time to go home. I have prepared your room and a lot of food so that you eat peacefully when we arrive at our home. But first we must get out of here.
I did not answer. While they helped me to change, I was in absolute silence. They gave me a typical hospital insipid meal, which I had trouble swallowing. I left the room, I looked at my brother who was sitting waiting and I said.
This one rises up and gives me his hand, and leads me to his room. When I entered the room, she looked at me fixedly and watched as a tear came out of her, which I recognize; Monique is suffering the same pain as me. One that does not come from anything physical, but from the very same being. And apparently for the first time she talks and asks.
-How are you?
-Apparently good; but you and I know it's not like that. - I answered with simplicity.
-What will we do now?
-I do not know ... I just want to go back and stay in school. I still believe that this is a dream. I answered with a lump in my throat.
Do you know that they have come to see us, almost the whole school?
I imagine, we should be the number one gossip of the school. Rebecca must be furious because they are not talking about her.
She smiled reluctantly and added.
-And how have you been?
He's been coming to let off steam with me. Since I have not said a single word until today, she thought I was speechless. But he is having a very bad time. He really loved her you know ...
I imagine ... - the least I wanted now was to talk about love, so I must dodge this issue for the moment. -... How long will you be like this? ...
In that they interrupt in the room, causing us to turn our gaze to the door. We observe a doctor and he says.
I looked at her with teary eyes, I went to her bed and then hug her and say what I did not want to accept.
She also crying responds.
-I do not know…
We were like this for several minutes, comforting each other, when suddenly Monique's family enters. They began to give me condolences, which made me flee that place quickly, because I hated all this. Calev took me to my mother's car and I stopped. The three watched me cautiously and my father asks.
-What happens honey?
When seeing the car again and again, those images returned. Calev comes over and hugging me, I start screaming scared, this calms me saying a simple sentence: - Everything will be fine close your eyes and follow me.
I looked at him impressed, he behaved so wonderful, he seemed older. I listened to what he said and I was finally able to enter with him, in the car. I kept my eyes closed next to him and the moment the car started to move, I squeezed his hand tightly. They only spent 15 minutes to get to the house.
My mother had served me a table full of food; she is always being exaggerated. And as expected I ate very little and without much encouragement; so I went to my room, went to the window, imagining Dan's car arriving. I took a picture of my ledge where we were both giving a tender kiss, but at the same time I took another one where Monique and Selena went together. I smiled at the beautiful memories appreciated in the photo, but at once it had been erased to become a sea of tears. I threw myself into the bed where I was crying, almost for an hour until I was completely asleep.
The next morning I got up at 6:00 A.M. and I called Monique:
Hello, sorry for the time but I was thinking if we can go to school today, do you agree?
-Well, my parents do not want me to leave, but it's good to see you back then, take care of yourself.
I hung up my cell phone and went straight to the bathroom.
The atmosphere was a bit cold, so I dressed somewhat warmly. I went down at 7:00 A.M. To the dining room; my mother surprised to see me so early and arranged says.
"Oh honey, what are you doing so early in the morning ?!
-I'm fine ... I want to go to school.
My worried mother sees my father and whispers something that I could clearly understand: "Castre, tell her something, it is best that she stay here, I will take care of her."
My father staring at me as if he read my mind responds.
My mother runs towards me worried and says.
Wait! ... Why do you leave so early ?. I told Calev to take you to school.
Easy mom, I will not go with him. I'm going on the bus ... he will surely leave in your car, and I really do not feel ready to ride in one again. So we'll see you later, bye.
She nodded resignedly and hugged me.
In 30 minutes I had arrived at the big college in the county, to tell the truth I was beginning to detest this place, because everything reminded me of Dan and Selena, causing me to put a knot in my throat at every moment. Monique was waiting for me at the entrance; I could feel an air of discomfort in his face, I think the same thing is happening to me. Everyone watched us and talked to each other, making the time much more annoying.
We enter classes. Monique and I shared a few other words, but apparently neither of us had much to say. I thought I could distract myself here, but it was a complete mistake.
At the end of the day she proposed to visit Professor Dilan, but to our surprise the teacher had asked for a change to the Juilliard Art School in New York. I proposed to go to the fields and when we arrived, for our commotion, there were many banners of Dan playing, another one was full with me at his side. Also in part of the stands, there were many photos of Selena, Monique and me, with messages or words of encouragement, where at the same time they showed respect for the deceased. When they finished seeing them in a heartbreaking silence, Monique did not hold it anymore and between sobs said.
I can not stand this! I hate this place! ... Listen Andrea, today I will go to Philadelphia, I will move with my parents to try to forget everything that has happened.
But, why are you going to leave me Monique ?, You know I can not be alone. - I answered now with tears in my eyes.
-I'm sorry Andrea, but now is not the time to think about you. I do it for me, because I can not stand the idea of living with ghosts near me, look at the countryside, they are full of them. If Selena were here she would understand ... forgive Andrea, in fact I came alone to say goodbye ... take care of yourself.
Saying that I watched his back move away from me. I walked to the bleachers of the field and I sat stunned. Now if it was definitive, I had lost almost everything, how is it that for a long time things can go well and in a matter of seconds be devastated completely ?. Life is like fog, today it may appear imposing before you, but after a while it disappears, leaving no trace of having existed. Monique is right; What masochist is to stay in a place where you remember so much pain, the best thing for it is simply to get away from everything that causes it, to start healing. But first, you have to recognize that when you're wrong ... now I understand that I'm wrong.
I looked at a picture of one of the banners, where the cuatros came together. I could not avoid again shedding tears, but I thought: "I must do the same, I must start again."
I got up from the stands and began to walk in strides, while walking I tripped falling to the ground. In that I hear someone approaching in a hurry and asks.
Standing up and shaking me, I answered.
-If I'm fine, thank you! Do not worry! -I answered a little annoyed at my clumsiness.
-Andrea, are you? You've woken up!
I looked up to see who had recognized me, and it was Professor Dilan. Without thinking I jumped on him and hugged him.
-Professor! How are you? ... I knew I had gone to the hospital. I'm so sorry for Selena.
He nods helplessly and responds.
-Well, I'm still a little disturbed about this place, but I'll be fine. I went to the hospital a few days ago, still did not wake up ... I'm glad you're well and I also feel about Selena.
-If it's good, it's coexisting instead of living, I think I'm having a great time !. In addition we have both lost, you do not have to complain.
-Yes, we have lost a lot ... - Responds with an uncomfortable grimace -... and when did you leave the hospital?
Well, yesterday. I wanted to come here to distract myself, but it has been a failed case; Monique and I went to visit him, but we found out that he had gone to New York. What happened?
Monique ?! Is he also here ?! It's okay?. I nod and he adds: ... I'm glad. I ventured with her while she did not speak, she was a very good companion. I also did it with you but you only slept. I will go to New York to start over, I just went to look for some things here, you know what they say "if you want opportunities, go to New York."
-It's true ... well, I was already going back to my house -I said a little shocked to know that the people affected with all this were just walking away.
-Why that face?
-It's nothing ... it's just that Monique goes to Philadelphia and I'm a little sad, it's the only thing left of this school, and now she's leaving. I think I'll also think about leaving.
-I understand ... you have been very close. Well, if you ever decide to move, your first choice is New York, so I could visit you.
-I was also about to leave, if you want I'll take you to your house.
I hesitated a bit, just because I did not want to get into a car, but I did not want to make him a scorn, so I answered.
-If it's okay, just do not run much.
He nodded.
He led me to a blue Porsche Cayman. While driving, we talked a bit about everything, thank God I did that because it released a bit of the stress that now caused me a car. It was happening very nice, until we passed that rock, where everything had collided. In a matter of seconds all those terrifying images came to me for my life and without thinking I closed my eyes and began to scream with despair. As he passes by the rock, he stops and throws himself on me and then embraces me and says: "Easy ... we've already passed, everything will be fine. I have been reckless when passing through here ...
I opened my watery eyes and said overwhelmed:
What had I said! I reacted and looking at him, I noticed that he was forming some tears, which by using his arm erased them, leaving no traces of her, to then say.
-She said that?
-Did he tell you how we started a relationship? Everything was so surprising, I did not know that she was from Caracas too or good, rather I had family over there. While in Venezuela we went out every day, we saw movies, we went to eat many times, I met his grandparents and he even stayed at my house and he met my parents. All in just a vacation; we had planned to wait out of school to think about a marriage. How could this happen?
I could see that great pain that he transmitted, it was the same that I felt very clearly.
-I'm sure she knew you loved her. I was very excited to be with you, however, now I am the one who realized why he liked you.
He smiles, finishes wiping his face and adds.
-Well, I'd better take you to your house. You just saw your art teacher mourn for a former student in his class. It is not very pleasant to say.
-Correction ... I've seen a human being cry for losing someone very loved.
He smiles in response and started riding the car.
In 10 minutes I had arrived at my house, I strode to my bedroom, to wait for my parents. I thought a lot about the idea of leaving, until I made a decision.
Without realizing it, hours had passed, and when I saw my father's car through the window, I quickly descended and even while my parents were entering through the door, while I was still on the stairs, I did not hesitate to say: - Mamé and Papé, I have been thinking a lot and I want us to go to New York. You know what they say "If you want opportunities go to New York."
