I guess really I should start at the beginning, I 've not been posting for a while.
I guess, I was stopped fully in my tracks. brakes locked on skidding over a cliff and no way to stop...
If only that was the case, it was a lot worse. It was August Bank holiday and we was chilling in the garden as a family. what a great day we had the summer was coming to an end and we was looking forward to my brother’s wedding in a few weeks. if only we knew then what the next 24hrs would bring.
It's not easy writing these words but I feel I need to.
The next day my son who was 16 had to enrol for his college course as an auto technician. his joy for cars was his true passion and we always encouraged him to do what he loved, and he was so looking forward to it and we was so proud.
We dropped him off and picked him up when he'd finished, he called to be picked up. we went home had lunch. After a While he went to his room as any teenager does.
just another normal day in the household.
At dinner we shouted up and no reply which is not unusual, headphones on or chatting or gaming or whatever he did. we all know how it is.... we were all that age once.
So anyhow not long after the 6-year-old went to toilet and came down saying Christians not it his room.
I was getting the hot tub sorted for our evening session as we said earlier after dinner me and him would.
So, my partner went up. was he hiding had something happened was rather strange she thought. she could not see him in the room.
So, she walked round the bed and she thought he was hiding but he was slumped over down the side of the bed.
unresponsive.
she came rushing down to me...I cannot wake Christian up she said as we have the 6-year-old standing right there.
So, we both go up and I go around, and it takes both of us to roll him over. right then I knew, he was gone.
I tried everything but trust me I knew it would do no good. right then our whole lives changed. he hadn't been ill, it was not an accident and still we don't really know why. 16 years old and gone in a flash.
He had so much to look forward to and what a great son and person he was.
Has affected so many not just his two sisters who have only known life with him in it. Pretty much everything Has changed.
A parent’s worst nightmare and if I didn’t have other children. I guess everything would be different, but life must go on.
It gets harder everyday not easier but still life has to go on.
Boy is it so different and that takes a long time to get used to...
While writing this I know nothing can change the past or bring him back. such a sad loss to all that knew him and to me he was more than a son been 6 months now and the pain will never go away.
So that’s where I’ve been, still so crazy like it’s not real but it is.
love you son forever and ever.
