I'm just going to have to say the same thing.It's nearly impossible to paint in this apt. I'm glad you have never had to live with 3 people in 2 rooms that are extremely tiny. Yes there is a library I can go to. The afternoon sun from 5 until sundown boils my room. It's easily 10 to 15 degrees hotter inside than out. It's blindingly bright. There's no air circulation and if I'm not back here to park my car before about 4:30 there's nowhere to park. imagine that? No place to park. in an emergency I can park about 20 minutes walk inland. That might sound simple until you actually have to do it. So I'm stuck in with no dining room. no couch. no AC. and with my 96 yr old mother and my 30 year old nephew. in a space just slightly larger than a sprinter van. I haven't gone out at night in 6 years. I don't go on dates. I can't invite anyone over. Not that I have anyone to invite over. I'm sick of my thoughts and having no peers, friends to just be comfortable with. My mother is nearly deaf and I have to yell for here to hear me. The walls are paper thin and everyone in the building and the entire neighborhood can hear me. I have no privacy at all. No Garden. No shade no place to sit outside. I can't just sit in someone else's frontyard. It's been 15 years since I had a girlfriend. I just go round in circles trying to find a way out. I love art and that world. there's no one to do that with . There are big famous museums around SoCal... and unbearably crowded freeways to get there and back. I'm sorry. Writing this has proven to me again how stupid I sound. I know too much about my own bullshit and it makes me want to leave this life. I could have said this much better in person. instead I spent 45 minutes typing. It turns out completely different than a 90 second conversation. That's an interesting psychological thing... My only connection to people is writing? My god what a nightmare. I just go insane. In person you might find me a lot more fun or even pleasant than what I can write.