Our instinct as parents is to care for, raise, and protect children. Making children happy is one of them. Yes, all parents want their children to always be happy.
So it is normal when we often make a child happy by buying him something, helping him quickly when he cannot do something, or simply accepting everything he needs.
Parents have 1,001 reasons to make children happy. However, consider the following signs, if this method pampers children.
Begin by not performing for the child those actions that he himself can do according to the characteristics of the age.
Compliments are allowed, but are most effective for very young children, ages 0-3. At that age, children learn to master basic skills. Praising him when he can get the trash in his place will encourage him to keep doing it.
Once you enter preschool age, when you praise things you should have mastered, like eating alone, urinating in the bathroom, or throwing trash on the spot, it can actually reduce the meaning of the compliment.
In fact, it makes kids think "just like being praised by mom." Therefore, choosing to praise a child is necessary, especially when the child is doing great things or completing a new challenge that he received.
Compliments, all too often buying something you don't really need but that reduces the meaning and value of the item. For example, each birthday child receives an expensive gift that may not be age appropriate.
The bigger the child will expect to receive a better and more expensive gift. On the contrary, when we do not give them anything, the children will be very disappointed and sad. Of course we don't want this to happen for long, do we?
We prefer to relieve children without giving them the opportunity to do it themselves. For example, kids want to eat alone, but because they don't want dirty clothes and messy dining tables, in addition to letting it run out quickly, we tend to feed kids.
In fact, the act amounts to letting the children continue to depend on us. In the short term, it may not be a problem, but it certainly affects the child's independence later. To do all the needs of the children is another way to pamper them. The problem is that we don't know if we can continue to be close to the child.
There are times when we must be cautious to keep a distance and see first from a distance if the child can overcome the problems that he himself encountered. As simple as unzipping a bag, try opening it yourself, until you ask for help. In short, don't do something you could have done alone.
Constantly making children depend on us makes us feel like we are the only people they depend on. However, as it grows, that dependency should also decrease.
Children must learn to feel comfortable with other people besides ourselves, including being able to trust themselves.
We will recognize that if a child is spoiled, it is not their fault, but their parents'. It was they who failed to build borders, establish clear rules, did not give the necessary guidelines. As a result, parents are not authorized figures for the child. He believes that his position in the family hierarchy is the same as that of adults, which means that he can behave with them with contempt and familiarity.
http://padresycolegios.com/22-consejos-para-malcriar-a-los-hijos/
https://miaulaintegrada.com/psicologia/el-nino-malcriado-y-como-afrontarlo/
