People say everyone has a soulmate. But no one ever says that a soulmate can be someone you almost ignored, lost, or had to fight tooth and nail to win over.
I used to think soulmates came with fireworks and background music. Like looking someone in the eyes in a crowded room and suddenly their heartbeats started playing a Coldplay song. I thought there were signs. Maybe a gust of wind. A strange feeling of déjà vu. Or that gut feeling that told you: This is it. This person is going to completely mess me up. But reality? Reality looked me straight in the eye and said: Sweet. But it wasn't.
The truth is: Soulmates don’t just appear out of thin air. They don’t fall from the sky just because they’re compatible and communicate perfectly. Absolutely not. Many times, your soulmate is the person you almost gave up on. Someone who tests your patience, makes you question your sanity, and pushes all the buttons you didn’t even know existed. But that’s exactly what it’s about.
Let’s be honest.
We live in a world where people disappear faster than they heal, and dating apps make love look like a damn product catalog. Swipe left, swipe right, discard, replace. It’s like we’re buying shoes, not souls. In a culture where everything is about convenience—instant noodles, instant fame, instant breakups—we expect love to be instant, too.
We expect connection to be magical and easy. That the right person will understand us instantly, never hurt us, always say the right thing, and fit into our broken hearts like magic.
It’s exhausting and terrifying.
Story time:
I once dated a guy who, on the surface, was exactly what I wanted. Smart, attractive, good at work, emotionally stable (or so I thought). We laughed at the same memes, had deep conversations, and I even introduced them to my plants (which was a big deal, trust me).
But you know what was missing?
That fire is lit by the person you choose every day. Not just when it's easy. But also when it's unpleasant. If it's uncomfortable. If it's not sexy. This person was not my soulmate. It was a convenient stopover. A reminder that chemistry is cheap, but strong bonds are rare. That's why I believe today more than ever: a soulmate is not the person who completes you. It's the person who sees your weaknesses and doesn't shy away from you.
Let’s end this fairy tale, shall we?
Because if Cinderella met her Prince Charming today, she’d probably tune him out after two messages because he’s too into me. If Romeo and Juliet had therapy, they wouldn’t have died. If we stopped expecting love to look like a Netflix series, maybe we could actually create something worth preserving.
So what now?
If you’ve met someone who challenges you, who reflects your flaws and strengths, who doesn’t always understand you but still tries, then stick with it. Not in a toxic “I can fix them” kind of way. But in a way that’s like “we both learned to love better.” Grow together. Heal out loud. Talk out the hard stuff. Laugh about it, even when it hurts. And realize: you didn’t find your soulmate, you became your soulmate. To someone who’s ready to be one, too.
Ultimately, the most powerful soul connections aren’t formed in perfect moments, but in the midst of ruins. A mess. Stay.
Photo: by AI
