Stand by your values and beliefs. One thing that's distinctive about you is your particular combination of principles and convictions that you hold dear. Those things are at the core of who you are, so it's important to stay true to yourself in moments of conflict or uncertainty.
- Conflict is a part of any relationship. You don't have to change who you are to resolve a disagreement. Simply ask that your beliefs be treated with respect and offer that same respect to others.
- Sticking to your beliefs takes courage. It's not easy to be the one who stands up to a bully or refuses to go along with a harmful or dangerous prank. Being true to yourself might make you unpopular with some people but could also attract those with whom you share common values.
- Make a list of truths about yourself or create a list of all the people/things that you think shaped you (your upbringing, your likes/dislikes, your temperament, etc.) and let them remind you of who you are. Use them, too, as jumping off points for conversation or connecting with others.
Be open and honest. It's easier for someone to approach you and, in turn, come to like you, if you're welcoming and genuine. Sending out a friendly, open vibe will help to draw people to you.
- A "what you see is what you get" approach to making friends can cut through any artificialities and help you connect with people who are drawn to you for who you are and not what you have. But be careful of appearing inflexible; people are less inclined to try to connect to someone who seems too rigid.
- Part of being genuine means showing emotion. You may put on a brave face when you're feeling down or try to hide a stressful day from others, but having emotions is something we all share. Let others see you as a real human being.
- If you're shy and find it difficult to talk to other people, be upfront about that. The great news is that you don't necessarily have to say a lot to have someone enjoy your company. Being a great listener and asking questions that convey a real interest in the other person is one of the best ways to connect.
- Don't be hard on yourself all the time if you feel you have weak social skills. You may have been busy developing other areas of your life. Remember, a skill is something that can be developed, so you can absolutely improve in this area.
Develop respect for yourself. Having healthy self-respect means you like yourself no matter what. Successes and failures can't change it, and it doesn't depend on how you measure up to others--in fact, you never even compare yourself to others. That's particularly helpful in forming friendships that aren't based on competition or one-up-manship.
- Self-respect is key to earning respect from others. It's difficult for people to treat you with real regard if you don't treat yourself well or don't think much of yourself.
