Blurthurt, goodness. Is that still going? Can't beat a portmanteau, although most of my being recoils against them.

I've defriended the conspiracy theorists in our town. The last straw was when I dropped by and she was burning cow dung for the good energy. I shit you not. No pun intended. The worst thing was that she BOUGHT IT IN A CALICO BAG WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS. Honestly you can't make this stuff up.

I was just like Homer disappearing into a hedge after that.