Mate, I totally NEVER wanted to get married for above reasons.

But. I met Jamie and fell so in love there seemed no better way to do it. It seemed to honour the depth of our feelings. The vows are whatever. Make them what you will. Write your own. But there's something about the ceremony, the ritual, that was important to us. Both loyal, hopelessly in love. We just knew.

There's a lot of people that get married because they're bored or think they have to. Then there's the adulterers, the people who beat their wives, the emotionally cold, the people not meant to be together. No wonder marriage gets a bad rap.

In England, we had to get married in a church, because you couldn't just get married on a beach like here and to have a non religious ceremony meant big money and a manor house. It was cheaper too, but still I baulked. I was never going to get wed in a church ffs!!!

But. Jamie put it to be like this - him not a God fan either. Marriage is a tradition that goes back hundreds of years. It's part of a western tradition - hand fasting, whatever. It takes many forms, but to vow to dedicate yourself to the other, come hell or high water, is the point. The little church we got wed in had a stone people had been standing on to get married for SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS. It was all worn and smooth. This wasn't about God, but about PEOPLE.

That was so super cool to me.

Marriage can seem like a piece of paper, but it wasn't to us. It was big and grand and beautiful - not the event, but our willingness to submit to each other. Not in a obsequious, service, obey each other kind of submission, but a humble, giving, caring way. Sure, we didn't need the paper for that - the blending of church and state, arguably, but in the absence of other traditions and in the desire to heal our past insecurities and relationship traumas and to step up to be the best people we could be to each other, 'I do' was pretty cool.

But that's just us. Whatever. You do you. We did I do.

22 years later I still like the way 'my wife' sounds when he says it. Always tender.

Mind you, he still mock shouts DONT DO IT if we drive past someone else getting married.