It's autonomy. It's identity. It's the feeling that you're still in control of your own life.

This is the hardest thing. It's not easier to surrender after a lifetime of control. I watched my Dad get ill and have to give up so much. I remember him in hospital and we offered to landscape outside his ensuite - he'd been meaning to but of course cancer had other ideas. He drew the plans and we did it. Watching him swallow his pride and allow others to do FOR him was such a powerful experience. I couldn't have admired his strength more - sometimes the letting go is the most powerful act in a life time.

I didn't know about your black outs. Does this mean you can't ride an electric bike either??? I guess not. Boo.

'it is what it is' became Dad's mantra, after a lifetime of 'you gotta keep moving'. Such is life, hey?