My mother always did things right. Fine plates, fancy utensils, cut crystal vases. Not me.

Every time I shove a heap of clothes in a drawer without folding them, I think of Mum. Luckily she can't see in my drawers. I do tidy up my cutlery drawer when she comes for dinner though, as she often helps tidy up. We make a joke of it - she knows my drawers are chaos though the exterior is harmonious. I do wonder if we reject the fancy and/or expensive because we know it is just show, and we just don't care for such things.

Everyone knew I was 'unconventional'. But no, they were stunned when I put a tablecloth on the floor and served dinner picnic style. We had no furniture at the time.

That's wild. I will never forget share houses and chai made in beaten up pans and drunk out of Vegemite glasses or pint glasses stolen from the pub. Your house picnic sounds like my kind of thing. No one I know would have batted an eye.

I'm not good at 'proper pretend' - I cake fake it, but it makes me anxious on the inside. There's always an element of rejection which makes the child in me feel very anxious.

I like my beautiful home and beautiful things, but nothing is expensive and everything curated for MY pleasure and no one else's - hence mismatched mugs and charity shop cutlery (such pretty old cutlery brings me joy!). I find it odd that people care so much about such things.

Our live in vehicles were probably the tidiest and cleanest of everyone's on site though. You can't be raised by two pedantic Virgos and then have a messy dirty truck haha. I'd boil water on the stove to scrub the floors on the weekend and whilst everyone else's truck smelt like dogs and cigarettes, mine was always fresh and tidy haha. Quite a feat in winter in England in a.muddy field haha. No, you can't come in with muddy boots and please smoke outside! Haha.