Sometimes, I've just had this long and enthused conversation with a random stranger. It might be about travel, or surfing, or music, art, books, or more generally, life. I'm nattering away, and then suddenly they say something like: 'You're so cool for your age!' or 'it's awesome you're still doing things like that, I hope to be doing that when I'm older.'

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And there's a moment where I wonder what they're talking about.

Then I realise I'm chatting away to someone in their 20's, or maybe their thirties, or early 40's - and I realise, goodness, they are a whole decade or two or three younger than me.

The gorgeous chic I see for therapeutic massage chatters away to me about her (asshole) boyfriend, about snowboarding and share houses and travel and sharks, and how she loves that I'm still surfing. She talks about a 70 year old she admires who only lives with her husband a few months a year, and the rest of the time is doing volunteer work in Sri Lanka or travelling in her van. 'You guys are so cool.' she says. I honestly don't know what to say. Shut up and keep massaging?

My grandmother used to look in the mirror and wonder who the white haired old lady was looking back at her. I feel the same when I accidentally flip the camera into selfie mode. The horror.

No matter how old you get, it's a shock. You're still the same person on the outside, it just hurts to get up more.

Not quite invisible - there's a whole group of kids out there these days that love to learn from adults - but almost.

I'm the same person I was back then,
A little less hair, a little less chin,
A lot less lungs and much less wind.
But ain't I lucky I can still breathe in. - Maya Angelou

If I was to choose any age to go back to, it's probably my late 30's. I was the fittest I'd ever been (lots of Bikram yoga), I was still able to go out and see bands and not come home til 3 am, and I still felt young. I had more wisdom, though, more balance, more self worth than I had earlier in my life. It was just before peri menopause slapped me sideways, before my stress breakdown, before Dad got ill.

But they say every age is a good age, because you're breathing.

And dancing, and laughing, and being enthusiastic about life, and not wanting to die yet.