"Don't be too emotional" is perhaps the most devastating remark that people I love have directed at me. Emotions are who I am. They've always propelled me through life. I sail a changeable sea of feelings that need constant processing and understanding, and achieving equilibrium on a calm shore is a rare (though more achievable, as I get older) and tricky feat.
AS I grew up, I internalized the idea that being emotional was a flaw to be suppressed and hidden and managed. It took years to recognize that the qualifier "too" was a judgment against others whose emotional responses were not better, but different to mine.
Now, I am proud of my emotional depth and expressive self. If I need to gush, effuse, or cry, I damn well will.
I'm a moon girl, and my emotions are tidal, ebbing and flowing. I've developed a toolbox of tricks to manage it - meditation has helped me understand that I don't have to 'lock in' or identify any particular emotiona at any particular time. My emotional intelligence, or intuition, has been beneficial in guiding me, making decisions with my gut. My emotions, a source of caring and empathy, help build and nurture meaningful connections with family and friends. Jamie cherishes my emotional soul, as do those who truly love me.
I also channel my emotional essence into creativity – writing poetry, stories, and building a harmonious home and garden. Yet, vulnerability prompts me to retreat into a protective shell, a behavior that has caused me to lose some friendships. Despite explaining my need for solitude when I'm overwrought, stressed, or just going through a tricky time, a few friends failed to comprehend this, much to my devastation.
Being emotional has its downsides, but I've learned to embrace it as an intrinsic part of myself. I am not 'too' anything; I am perfectly me.
With Love,
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