How long can you hold your breath for? A minute?

Before doing our free diving course in Amed there's no way we could hold our breath for that long underwater. At the end of it, we both could dive to 15 metres! After a lifetime on the ocean, I can't believe I hadn't accessed this part of my bodies capabilities until now. It was the first time that for a few blessed moments, I could feel my inner fish kick in. A whole new world opened up to me beneath the seas surface, even if I was only going to go under for a minute at a time, I was still experiencing the ocean on a whole new level - or a whole new DEPTH!

I wrote about my I initial panic as we began the course on dry land in my last steempost. You start by relaxing the body through the breath - like we do in yoga (pranayama). Inhale for four, out for six or eight, slowing down the heart rate. For some reason I kinda lost it:

Suddenly, I was overcome by panic. My palms became sweaty, my heart began racing, and I was totally flooded with cortisol. I simply had no idea why I was reacting in that way, but I knew I had to get out of the room, and fast.

I have no idea why I panicked so but since the course I have been doing it no problem, reaching 2 to 2.5 minutes okay. You have to ride these convulsive waves toward the end, gaining more seconds, trying to tell your body it's all okay as the diaphragm quivers violently, trying to force air in. The whole idea is to build your body's tolerance to C02. It's the C02 drop that makes us want to gulp air, but physiologically, we are fine for a good long while without overdosing on oxygen!

Our free diving instructor and the owner of Fusion Diving, Kev, explained to us that what we're doing is learning that discomfort isn't necessarily a sign you're going to die! He said it was about finding this balance between ease and discomfort, or at least seeing discomfort in a new light - not as an enemy, but something to use and work with. HIs explanations made me think of the yogic sukha/sthira relationship - sweetness and ease balanced with strength, perhaps discomfort. Everything in balance - yin and yang, and all that!

The next thing we learnt about was the MAMMALIAN DIVING RESPONSE (MDR).

This response is why free divers might splash their face with water before a deep dive. Facial nerves transmits the message that we are in cold water to the brain, which in turn innervates the vagus nerve which slows down the heart rate. The colder the water, the faster the reaction. We test this with a heart rate monitor on our finger. My pulse dropped from 105 down to 65 really quickly!!

Being underwater on one breath also does a few other things too. The first free divers in the 60's were doing things science simply couldn't understand, but now they know the blood 'shunts' from your extremities to your heart when the C02 levels rise, so if you're holding your breath for that long, you might even notice this blood shift or feel your chest get hot. There's a few other physiological things that happen too, which you can read about here, but for now I'll just say that these teachings gave us more confidence in the fact that our bodies can do things we thought they couldn't, and once you know that, it's easier to put the mental barriers that say 'oh my god I'm going to drown' to one side.

I found this clip that might explain it to you a bit better, if you are interested..

The next part of the training was jumping in the pool. It was imperative we could swim under water with fins and wetsuits and weight belts, twice the length of the pool which was 16 metres all up. Firstly, we tested our breath holds, and worked on relaxing our bodies with our faces underwater with the masks on. After the mornings anxiety, I was happy to see myself relax. It was so much easier to calm myself by listening to the sounds of the birds, the trickling of water, the breeze, to watch a leaf swirl at bottom. The more I distracted my mind, the more I could relax.

Relaxation is really is the key to free diving - relax and meditate for a few minutes so your heart rate slows, get cold water on your face, take two deeeeeep breaths and then one long final one, and under you go. The first hold in the pool was 1.05 for me, a 20 second improvement on the static holds in the room. I worked on a body scan, a meditation trick to relax the body - first the muscles in my neck to relax my head, then shoulders, belly, hips, legs, toes and back again. This was harder to do in the sea, but then I had the fish to distract my mind!

I love the fact that free diving uses meditation and yoga techniques to relax.

On the second underwater swim in the pool I felt flow - that deeply connected feeling that is complete body awareness in the moment, similiar to how I feel when I surf or am fully connected to the breath in yoga. I felt like I was weightless, flying, and felt pure stoke when I burst the surface. Maybe I could do this after all!

The next day was a bit of a different story. In Amed bay, you all hover around a buoy and wait your turn to go under. There's a rope with marks on it that leads down to the bottom - one buoy with a 10 metre rope and one with a 20 metre. Needless to say I started on the 10 metre. We'd practice our meditative skills whlist waiting our turn so that when it was our go, we could go straight under.

This was really tough, because we also had to learn to equalise as we went down - there's a lot to think about. Our ears really hurt from the pressure, and both of us found it really tough to get through the crackles, pops, fizzes and gurgles our ears were making. This never actually left us - air conditioning, they say, is one of the culprits and a dose of pseudoephedrine can help, but I'm worried that will just raise my heart rate anyway as I'm pretty sensitive to it.

Finally, I got to 10 metres and hung on the bottom for an extra few seconds (maybe ten?) before shooting to the top. Time kinda goes wierd down there. It was really beautiful - at one point, I left my thinking mind behind and dropped into 'being' - being with the beautiful fish, the sway of the water, the light filtering down from the white blue sky. And then flying to the surface, using the rope to pull me up - as long as you've got about 10 seconds left, you're right for the rocket to the surface and recovery breathing (this helps prevent blackout, which only happens on the surface really - but this is more science to explain that I can't do right here!) before you relax ready for the next one.

In the afternoon, more of the same - we had to do a few safety things to pass the course, which I couldn't do in the end. I had a massive problem with my mask and snorkel which were letting in water, the wind was making the surface choppy and I was so exhausted that I was shivering from the cold. Knowing my limits, I swam back to shore, tearfully saying hello to this beautiful mermaid on the way (Amed has a lot of sculptures on the bottom of the sea which are home to fish, and great to swim around - temples, pyramids, and a few miles up the coast, a genuine Japanese wreck, which I'm looking forward to exploring).

On the beach, I struggled a bit, feeling quite frustrated that I hadn't passed the course. I had no idea that I was so competitive with myself (I have no compulsion to beat others at all! However, as Jamie said when he too dragged himself ashore about half an hour earlier than the rest, we're both considerably older than the other crew doing it (one Kiwi girl was 19, and she was rocketing to 20 metres easily), we both had problems with our ears that were making things damn uncomfortable, and we hadn't been doing ocean sports to that extent for some time. He also told me not to worry because I had done a helluva lot better than I thought I would when I was in the middle of a panic attack the day before!

I guess that's the key, isn't it - set your expectations just a little bit in front of you and be happy with any progress! Freediving to ten metres on one breath was way more than I could do two days ago. I've also learnt I can hold my breath for 2.5 minutes, static hold on the shore, which is pretty amazing (I'm also an asthma sufferer - hence my wierd relationship and anxiety around breath I guess).

Fusion Diving were so incredibly supportive and have encouraged me to go back for a morning or afternoon to give it another shot, which I might do if I can get rid of this ear thing. Either way I am really glad we did this course. It certainly reinforced for me that true growth occurs when we step outside our comfort zones.