Goodbye Forever

It's been more than a week since Heihei died, and up until now, I still can't believe that she's gone forever. Her death was so sudden because, unlike Chipi's death, hers seems to have no apparent reason. The day before she died, she just weakened all of a sudden, but she was still eating and moving at that time. However, the next day, we really noticed she really weakened too much to the point she couldn't stand. Since she won't eat any food, we tried giving her milk, which she greedily drinks. We thought she'd recover the next day, but when it was time for her snack at 10:00 A.M.—I noticed she seemed to be struggling. She cried for a while, and when I fed her with milk she stopped.

However, after that, I noticed again she's crying, but this time without a sound. I really pity her because tears are streaming down her face. I stroke her while I'm crying because who wouldn't if you see her face. I continued gently stroking her until all of a sudden, she seemed to choke on something. I panicked for a while, and then I elevated her head. But when I picked her up, I felt that she had gotten heavier, and even though her eyes were open, her head hung limply. And that's when I knew she was dead. I tried calling her name because I know she'll always respond whenever I call her, yet even though I called her many times, she didn't respond.

I was devastated that day and the next days. Her face just randomly popped into my head, and even until now, it haunts me. That very same day she died, my father buried her in our backyard. He may not show it, but I know he's quite upset because I know he had grown fond of Heihei. He even said that we shouldn't adopt small kittens because they'll only die without their mother. It's really a sad goodbye, and her death somehow became a warning to us that, as much as possible, we should avoid adopting kittens. Plus, there's no nearby vet in our place, which is why it's really hard for us if something happens to them.

That's why I've been quite nervous whenever I see our cats sleeping unnaturally quiet, so I immediately tried to poke them (to see if they're still alive) now and then. Some of them are nonchalant about that, but some—like Luna and Chicha—are easy to annoy. Luna, especially, is more irritated with those pokes because he definitely values his sleep much and that's why I toned it down days ago. His annoyed glares are already enough warning that I should cool it down haha. He even stared directly on my camera when I attempted to capture his annoyed look—so yeah, it's obvious he's not really happy about it to the point he abandoned his camera shyness.