Trump – President Jinping is a great, great friend. Look at this chocolate cake. Have you ever seen a chocolate cake this beautiful? Am I right, Xi? Am I right?
Xi Jinping – Ah, yes. It’s a nice cake
Trump – Mmmm. This is delicious. Get a shot of this. Get a shot of me and Xi enjoying this. Xi, take a bite. Mmmm, so good. So, so good.
(Jinping’s phone vibrates. Sees @realDonaldTrump tweet. Just launched 59 Tomahawk missiles into Syria.)
Xi Jinping – Dude, what the fuck?
Trump – You want another piece? Sure you do. Get President Jinping some more cake.
Read next
From @richievengeance