Depression is a blanket word for a multitude of varying states that can be caused by a multitude of reasons. In Buddhism, it is taught that suffering comes from desire. At least that was the form it was described in that I read a few years ago. Desires and expectations don't seem all bad to me though. Some desires and expectations seem to be more problematic than others.
For me it always comes back to Love. For me, that word says it all. If you want to understand something, love it. If you want to be something, love it. If you want to go somewhere, love it. In my mind, the love I speak of is different than the love I've often heard spoken of. The love I speak of is True Love. True Love is consciousness. It is the reason "the secret" works. You truly can create a beautiful abundant reality. True Love is the Universe. It's what I call God or myself or the energy that is everything.
I've seen True Love at work. You cannot tell me that it does not exist. Whenever I make such a bold general claim, I feel the need to back it up with an example from experience and an explanation. It's not proof by any means, but just an example of my wonderings.
When I was a very young boy, I ran over my dog. My dad was letting me drive the pick up down the dirt road on our land. At the cattle guard by the house, the dogs came running up close to the truck. I stopped, and my dad said, "No, keep going. They'll move". So I kept going. Pepe had awkwardly taken a few steps on to the cattle guard when I had stopped, so when I started moving forward again, I unknowingly ran one of my tires over him and it smashed his head between two rails of the cattle guard.
After we pulled up to the house. I got out and I noticed Pepe didn't come with the rest of the pack. I noticed my dad walking to the cattle guard and I saw Pepe. Dad picked up Pepe's limp body and carried him over by the house. There was blood everywhere and I fell to my knees. My heart was broken. My only desire in the world right then was for Pepe to live. I noticed he was still breathing and in my head I saw him jumping around playing as the happy pup that he always was. In that instant I became aware that Pepe was going to be ok. Pepe did live. In fact recovery was quite speedy and it seemed like within a few days he was healthy and happy again.
This story might not mean anything. It's just the experience I had. To me, it always made me wonder why I felt like I knew for sure that he was going to be ok. It wasn't a thought or even a feeling. It was both of those and more. I knew the picture I saw of Pepe was in the future and I immediately quit crying and told my dad that Pepe was going to be ok. I've always wondered what exactly happened in that moment. Over the years I have had a few occurrences that have lead me to be a believer in True Love. I cannot prove it to you. My story is not proof and I don't expect you to take it as such.
If you are person that does not believe in these types of things, I respect that. Earlier in my life, I did not believe what I believe now. I've always been a dreamer and lover, but I've had long bouts of serious depression and spent years as very pessimistic, anti-religious, depressed person. I am not religious now or anything but over time with help from others and experience, I can see that today there is something different from myself back then. Over the years confidence in True Love has developed. Another story I tell is an experience I had when a dream saved my life.
These experiences and many more have changed something within me that I cannot see going back. I know that True Love is the answer. I know that True Love wins in the end and its all going to be ok. Since I have known this, my life has been blissful. Sure I have problems and sometimes I lose my positivity, but now I have a deep knowing that everything has its reason and everything is going to be ok. In a way, it already is. Everything is already perfect. I forgot that though so now I work on creating love and happiness in the world around me. I have seen some people who know about True Love. Some people have it, and you can see it in the way they are.
image from pixabay
Oh yeah, I was thinking about expectation. Recently, I've noticed that I have some expectations of others that are not serving me. It was such a relief to become the observer instead of the expector.
These thoughts really go back to who I consider to be my spiritual teacher. Omaraam Mikael Aivanhov
"If you are always expecting to be considered, understood, helped or loved, you will never be happy, for everyone has their own worries and problems. Someone may be with you one minute but busy elsewhere the next, and then you have to manage on your own. This is why I tell you not to count too much on other people, because you cannot be certain of their attention, friendship and love. One moment you will feel understood and supported, but what will happen the next? You should never expect anything from others, especially not their love. It may come, of course; it may even keep on coming. If it comes, it will be welcome, and you will thank heaven, but you shouldn’t expect it. Do you want to be happy? Do not ask to be loved; just love, day and night, and you will be happy all the time. One day a wonderful love affair may come out of the blue… Yes, why not? It can happen, but don’t expect it".
– Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov
This quote from Omraam has become a big part of my philosophy on life and it has served me well. I have expectations of myself and I am thankful when others are kind, intelligent ,and helpful, but I try not to have expectations of anyone else unless I have a formal agreement or something like that. In this way it is easier to love them and just observe them as they are.
Don't get me wrong. I will not stand for violence and things like that. I don't expect others to be violent or not violent, but, I expect myself to stop the violence and to not initiate or prolong any violence myself, but I don't have those expectations of others. I am thankful when people are peaceful and cooperative and that seems to be becoming more and more the reality in my life, so I am very thankful. However it is not the reality everywhere by any means, but I do believe we can and will create that for ourselves as we learn over time.
Gratitude is one of the keys here, too. When you are grateful, you are manifesting happiness and abundance. This attitude along with learning from experience will eventually create a beautiful abundant reality for us all. We must create it together and we will.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you. These are just some things that were on my mind. I have started using steemit as kind of an online journal of sorts. One I plan on others reading, but I like having it as a place that I am just myself so I hope you like these random posts about my thoughts and experiences.
Later today I'll be making my post about SteemFest Dreamers! I will be announcing a donation to a lucky SteemFest Dreamer and a few other things. Please comment with any of your thoughts and feel free to follow me or contact me on steemit chat, if you wanna chat about expectations or depression or anything like that, I am available. Thank you
