Like most people I know, I was raised to show respect to other people and woe betide me if I ever forgot my manners - my parents would have let me know in no uncertain terms that I had.
A recent experience with a good friend got me thinking about this. We have known each other for many years but this is no excuse for bad behaviour.
The basic story is that we had agreed to meet for coffee on a week day afternoon. We are both busy people so it is always special and meaningful when we can get together. On this particular day I had asked him to let me know how his day panned out. When I hadn't heard from him I texted him that evening to find out what was happening. The reply was, "LOL, insane day. Gridlocked traffic in Sandton." Now, given regular power outages in our city coupled with his itinerary for that day, I wasn't really surprised that we were unable to meet as it was an ambitious plan.
Fast forward a week and we decide to try again and meet the following afternoon. This time he promised to let me know how his day was going, and the itinerary was a lot less challenging. Again, I had not heard from him by late that afternoon, and so I decided to go for a run. Wouldn't you know it, not long after setting out, I see him in his car on his way out somewhere. He had clearly been home already and yet again, had not bothered to let me know what was happening.
Later that night I got a message asking why I looked so p***ed off. I replied to say that he had promised to keep me posted on his movements, and his reply was to ask if that was why I was upset. To which I said, yes. The response was a sticker of an orangutan slapping itself on the head.
Now, I think in this situation most of us would apologize for the lack of communication and for disrespecting someone's time.
Four days later, I got a message asking if I was still upset and I replied that I was. I also made it clear that I was not angry about not being able to meet up, but rather the lack of communication. I also said I saw it as disrespectful towards me.
The response this time was a sticker of a panda blowing kisses at me. I have not bothered to respond again.
Which leads me to the point of this post. Have we become so caught up in the ridiculously fast pace of life and our own minds that we have forgotten about basic courtesy, respect and manners?
In a case like this, the disrespect is not only towards the person, but also to their time.
I really don't believe that my expectation of being kept updated (especially when he promised to do so) was unreasonable, and having explained why I was so upset, an acknowledgement or even apology was appropriate.
Good manners are not expensive nor time consuming, and I hope that as the human race, we don't start discarding these kinds of values. Treating each other with respect and dignity goes a long way.
Shouldn't we rather focus on spreading kindness and respect everywhere instead of all the negative things?
