I just found out the other day that there is a by-law in my city that forbids people from swearing outside. I thought this was a pretty heavy handed move by the city so I researched it further - they group it in with other loud and unruly behavior like amplified music or fighting - but why mention swearing? Loud is loud?
They say swearing is strong language because it is. We make a choice when we swear to use the strongest words that our language has to offer.
One of my kids told me the other day that they now have me figured out - they learned about hyperbole in school. I rarely ever mean exactly what I say - swearing adds to this confusion even more.
Most of us were born into a society that has made many words taboo for casual conversation. This dangling of the proverbial taboo carrot elevates the power swearing has in our society. It can be incredibly divisive to use strong language in public speaking for example - but sometimes strong language is used intentionally to get a rise out of an audience or group.
Where did swear words come from? The one's we hear most often have an old history. Shit for example is an old English word that has been used since the 1500's meaning "an annoying/obnoxious person". Fuck is a Germanic word meaning "to breed" - its date of origin is hard to pin down because it was banned from being written down. We know motherfucker was first recorded in a court case in 1889 - according to Merriam Webster - the defendant was called a "God damn mother fucking son of a bitch"(I always thought the 19th century was boring).
Religion for the most part says that swearing is bad. Psychology says swearing can be good - it can create trust particularly in team building exercises. I have bonded with many people over swearing. In a group situation - everyone is trying to get a feel for everyone else - the first person who drops the "F bomb" is usually the person I trust the most in the group - they take a risk by being transparent - which probably means they have nothing to hide. Swearing can help people bond but it can also be divisive.
Sometimes we teach our kids - and sometimes that teaching comes back to teach us. I don't want my kids swearing casually - so why do I continue to do it? It could be the fact that I grew up without the internet and swearing was a way to pass time with friends. It could have been the evolution of music and film which (particularly in the 90's) glorified swearing (watch an old movie like "The Rock" or "Con Air"). There was a race to the bottom particularly with the popularity of hiphop that lead to an acceptance of strong language in popular culture - where a few decades earlier the word "damn" caused a commotion. It is very common even in "top 40" pop music to have explicit language that's barely bleeped out. Searing seems to have become more accepted in the mainstream - which means swear words are evolving to become something else entirely - swearing in the 1960s would get you a much different reaction than it does now in 2018.
What I do know - is the words we've established as curse words - no longer have the power to do anything but potentially confuse a situation. Have you ever sworn on the phone by accident and had the call center rep threaten to hang up on you? Being caught swearing in some situations gives you that same feeling you get when you call your teacher "Mom" in elementary school. The more society seems to accept these words the more their meaning changes and the less important they are at least in my speech. I've decided its time for me to do away with the four letter words which will require me to learn to speak less - or dip into my vocabulary more.
I've gotta do this cold turkey. I've tried the swear jar, I've tried other little games - but games don't do it for me. I don't want to replace curse words in my vocabulary with softer variations - I want to change the way I speak all together. I want to use words that accurately reflect my feelings rather than speaking using my "short vocabulary".
I'll know I've succeed when I say "ouch" for the first time...
Ryan Geddes is located in Toronto Canada. When he's not writing, hes helping with House&Canvas Chalk Finsh Furniture Paint.
