“Good eternity to you, you asked for a visit from housing services?”
“Ah yes, please do come in, I was just boiling the kettle, can I offer you a cup of tea?”
“Not for me thank you, if we may proceed to business?”
“Of course, forgive me you are a busy entity.”
“Yes, eternity doesn’t run itself; I’m sure as a deity you can appreciate that. Now then, I see from the records that you’ve applied for a bigger dwelling.”
“Yes, that’s correct; on account of my hobby.”
“Explain to me again, what is your hobby, exactly?”
“I grow realities.”
You grow realities? What does that involve and why does it mean you need a bigger apartment?”
“Well… I’m sorry but this will take some explaining and I’ll need to wet my whistle; you don’t mind if I make myself a cuppa?”
“Not at all, carry on; this is your home after all.”
“Thank you. It started out as a means of making an ornament, a tiny little universe. I started by making a singularity and then lit it. It was beautiful the way the stars burst into being. It twinkled away, suspended in mid-air. It wanted to expand in different directions so I contained it in a plasma field. It was fascinating to study. Around some of the stars planets grew and on some of those planets, that were just in the tight habitual zone, life began. Not existence as we know it of course. They were tiny little beings made of, oh what’s that physical stuff, made of biological essence…”
“Flesh? Beings made of meat?”
“Meat! Yes that was it. Sometimes they would destroy their little worlds; sometimes they would have tiny interstellar wars. It was fascinating to watch. Sometimes they would philosophise and think beyond their existence to what lay beyond the confines of their universe. They would even try to talk with me, it was sweet; I was their god of a sorts. You should have seen the plethora of temples the differing races built.”
“Amazing, how did they try to frame your multi dimensional countenance?”
“Ha ha, I always looked like an idealised version of them!”
“That is funny… however if I can be serious for an eon, before we proceed, I have to say that your neighbours have lodged complaints about you.”
“Complaints? What sort of complaints?”
“It would appear that every 100 quintillion of years or so there are a series of loud explosions emanating from your apartment.”
“Oh yes, well that also explains why I need a bigger apartment.”
“It does? How so?”
“Well you see, I should have frozen the reality when it was at its height, then I could have kept it as a pretty bauble but I was interested to see what it would become, and I felt mean doing that to the little meat things. After a while it grew cold and dark and yet became unstably heavy. It seemed that all the stars eventually turned dark and fell in on themselves unable to hold their place in the fabric of spacetime. They would turn immeasurably dark and draw all matter into themselves in another singularity, a black hole for want of a better term…”
“Well it destroyed itself then, recycling itself back into what it once was? May I see it, by the way?”
“Oh it’s in my spare room, but we will see it soon enough. The problem is that the singularity was so inherently unstable that if first imploded and then exploded, destroying the plasma field and creating new realities; that was probably the big bangs my neighbours complained about.”
“Ah I see, but why do you need a bigger dwelling?”
“Well you see the singularity didn’t make one new universe, it made a multitude of them in different dimensional planes and each of those in turn went through their allotted eons and became these black hole singularities in turn which then…”
“You mean your hobby is growing exponentially?
“Well that’s one way of putting it, I suppose. I’d move away from that door if I were you. We are due another growth spurt any century now and then it will spread into here. Would you like some tea while we wait?”
