Elaine Moore from the Financial Times makes a fair point: with everyone glued to their screens, pinging messages, emails, Slack posts, and WhatsApp notes all day, maybe we’ve forgotten the simple art of talking. Actual talking, with our voice things in real-time.
https://www.ft.com/content/7dc55e0a-d394-4323-b3e1-80293b600b1b?syn-25a6b1a6=1
Moore makes her case after one of Silicon Valley’s dramas spilled into the courtroom. Elon Musk, Sam Altman, Greg Brockman—big names—ended up airing years’ worth of emails, texts, and online threads in public.
Moore's point is that a lot of this communication probably wouldn't have happened if they had been speaking to each other over the phone.
It's an odd thing - that our preferred way of communication is now via text, but that actually ends up making our communication more of an effort - it takes longer to type, and we probably tend to think about how we present ourselves more via text.
Phone calls are different. You can’t hit “undo.” There’s no time to fuss over phrasing. You just have to roll with it, mistakes and all.
So, people dodge phone calls. Businesses, too. Instead of actual voice lines, they push you to online chats. The appeal is clear—messaging feels “safe.”
But of course online text chat isn't safer - not only do we not have the aural tonal clues that help with meaning, there's a very obvious trail of our communications too.
What was meant as a joke lands as criticism. Short, rushed replies suddenly look rude or cold.
Take a message like, “Fine.” That could mean happy, annoyed, beaten down, or just plain indifferent. The receiver has to guess—and usually imagines the worst.
This is possibly why online spats blow up - people are reacting not so much to what was said, but to what they think was said.
Moore brings up another snag: messages stick around. Anyone who’s been in politics, corporate life, or anything public knows how an old email can deliver a nasty blow—especially out of context.
Calls, though, are softer. People can toss ideas around, admit they’re confused, iron things out—with no written record lurking to bite later.
Maybe ditching phone calls is just part of a bigger shift. We like to control our interactions—reply when it suits us, ghost messages, keep a careful online image.
A real conversation means less control. Suddenly, you’re expected to listen, react, show some heart, and think on your feet.
If you want to solve something, clear the air, or get closer, the old-school answer works best.
Just pick up the phone.
