This week's EcoTrain Question of the Week really is MOST relevant to me!
I KNOW the enormous benefits of meditation, having been through periods of my life where i did, I shit you not, sit down for a good hour every morning on the cushion, back when I was going to Zen classes in London which lasted for about a year, so during that time I had even more meditation-hours piled onto Monday evenings, when said classes were.
NB I stopped going to those classes after my first 'advanced class' - after a year in beginners, I finally got an 'in' to the next level, attended once, had a bad-sit, slipping off those damned cushions, didn't really feel the vibe to be very positive, and never went back.
Maybe that's the first reason why I find it so hard to meditate - having had something of an insight to that class the experience just looked a bit desperate and miserable.
Also during that time I know that a good hour a day and some more than usually intense application of mindfulness in daily life does actually make you feel worse sometimes - all the shit comes out, so it's not all joy and love and happiness....
That's the part of the journey of meditation, IMO, that all the shit comes out, at least in Zen stylee!
So I know that meditation is NOT going to bring me to a transcendent state anytime soon, I know it's a long-term commit, no short term gain.
Although it's certainly not all doom and gloom - meditation does also bring, along with the shit that needs to come out, more clarity, more stability, a less busy mind, better concentration, and generally less agitation, it's subtle, but it works.
But here I am, almost 18 months into Portugal, and I haven't really been meditating at all, I've really let it slip, even though I know the benefits, so why am I not doing it?
I mean, I literally have my cushion sitting there in the corner of the room, not being sat on!
I think TBH it's just that I've got into a comfortable daily and weekly routine - especially in the mornings, I just love getting up, getting some TEA on the go, listening to Radio 4 and checking in on Hive in the morning - that can drag on for an hour, by which time I'm feeling guilty that it's getting late, so then I feel like I have to tidy up, get myself ready for the day, practice some Portugues and then I'm into the day.
The meditation often goes amis.
NB the few times I have sat this last 18 months, I don't find the sitting hard - given that I'm just allowing whatever arises to arise (low bar) - it's the getting up and getting started that's my barrier.
So I think I need to change this and get meditating again - I can easily spare 30 minutes a day, and I will start TODAY!
There really is no reason, because meditation itself isn't difficult!
It just is!