How long you can hold your positive vibes? How long you can push yourself to be hopeful?
Infinite? Forever?
No, it's not true!
You will feel like losing yourself at some point. You will fail to put things together every once in a while. Or maybe there will be a total breakdown.
I don't know how long can I go like this... Nowadays, I am really feeling very sick of everything, about our life situation.
We are living in this city, far away from all of our family, most of my friends, and most importantly, our parents. Let's not talk about me. But for my son, he can't even get to know our relatives and his grandparents. He is growing up without knowing the love and care of loved ones.
Video calls? Say no more!
Even I start to hate video calls nowadays.
The world is getting worse day by day...
We don't know but maybe this will be over someday. But there will be something new for sure. I am just looking around, what we have done to our beautiful planet.
And you know why this happens?
Because we never think about the consequences of our acts.
Just yesterday, I was watching the news showing how without any permission or any professional expertise there are some factories growing and working to dispose of spare batteries. They are intoxicating the nearby river, polluting the environment, breaking the ecosystem.
And all this is happening for our stupidity. Because we never think about the consequences, what we are giving back to nature, and what our actions will cost.
Not just this, on our personal level also; we do the same. When we talk very choosing our lifestyle, the same thing happens. We never think about the consequences.
Just think how coronavirus started. Yes, you can argue about the fact that if this is human-made or factory-made. But how the virus spread all over the world is because of our stupid acts and decisions. There are still millions of people who don't believe this virus.
I'm feeling sick for a few days. I always try to talk positively, be positive, to see the light on the other end of the world. But for a few days, I'm losing it, I'm falling apart. Maybe because there is an upcoming religious festival and we can't celebrate that with our relatives. We are stuck in the city, in an apartment, and doing our best to live.
But this is not life, you know. This never feels like I'm living anymore. Maybe deep inside, a portion of my heart is dying.
Oh, our Son! Our precious son! How can we ensure you a better world?
I feel like I should sleep.
I should go back to sleep forever,
Wake me up when this is over.
