Taking responsibility for our actions means a lot. Not a single action comes without consequences. But what if we start to think we can take all the responsibility and change everything?
Does that sound correct or possible in any sense?
No.
But this is what we are doing in everyday life!
I know many who are in a toxic relationship, know that the relationship will not work because either one of them is not responsible enough. But they hold the wrong idea that they can change, gradually things would get better.
This is just a rough example. I wouldn't say I don't take responsibility for the irresponsible. I mean still, I make my life stressful doing all the things that make no sense, adds no value. Like putting a lot on some relationship that doesn't matter anymore.
Why?
Because I still believe I can make it change. But deep inside I know I can't.
I don't know how many times I had this wrong understanding that I can change others even if they don't want to. Back then I used to believe love can change everything, I have the power to change. I mean why not? Teenage means having all the misinformation about real life!
The thing is, not only me you can also change others if they don't want to change, don't want to take responsibility.
Take a step back and think what could be better if you don't take the responsibility anymore for the irresponsible one. Your life would be miserable in some way, their life would be much worse. But what benefits you will get? Certainly, you would have to put less effort into doing unnecessary things. And you will have an idea of where the relationship/things going. It will help to take future decisions accordingly.
It sounds pretty simple but it's not. Like I said, I know and understand what I'm doing wrong but still can't get out of it.
But it's true, gradually I'm teaching myself to pull off from the responsibility I'm taking years after years.
Let me give you an example.
There was a time when I used to call back to certain people, make them remember certain things about life, give them suggestions in the hope that they will change, and pay me back when they understand. No need to say, it never goes like that and it was always one-sided. Now I almost stopped doing so and I feel relief.
I don't make myself responsible anymore for the irresponsible one and you also shouldn't!