I was sitting on the chair, alone. It was a huge cinema hall and the screen was huge. But no one was there. I didn't have to wait for the movie to start. I entered in the room and just in a mili second the cinema started to play, automatically, all by itself!
Isn't scary? I was not sure what I'm looking at for a few seconds. But it didn't take me long to recognize myself in the screen. I got really scared for a moment until I realize what it is...
It was my life, I was watching my 'life movie' playing in front of my eyes.
I knew from the very moment that I can not change what is going on the screen, I'm just like any other outsiders. I only can enjoy, cry, listen and LIVE; or die maybe!
And I thought, well...that's okay. Let's enjoy the movie then.
Every lost souls reminds us about death, every person we lose gives us a moment to think about spirituality and after life. The pain is more for us than for them. They remind me about the life we have to live without them.
I lost three of my relatives in last two weeks. I attended their funeral, I acted normal. But deep inside I knew, it doesn't feel normal at all. It's not like this is the first time I'm losing someone closest. But this surely a time I realized it differently.
I lost my Dad then years ago. I know the pain to lose someone dearest. But that time I was immature, I was mad, I was sad like hell. This time, I took time to understand everything. From what is going on around, what I need to do and how I'm feeling.
And you can guess, how I was feeling. Yeah, what I've explained at the very first in my writing.
I felt lost, I was present in the moment but not sure about anything. I was trying to reach every emotions but it felt I'm nothing close. My mind was absent, it felt like I'm alone in room with all the window closed.
I felt like I'm not living anywhere and not feeling anything...I was empty.
But...
This emptiness gave me the chance to understand and appreciate life more!
Now I can see the light. It's getting brighter. Maybe I would never catch the light. And I think that's okay, it's not necessary also. I can live, love and laugh!
THANKS FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!
Much Love
I'm a life & nature enthusiast, I love to learn human psychology, I'm a 'Book worm' and very introvert but also love to travel. I'm trying to live mindfully and most importantly, I'm a positive learner.
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