When I was young, before I knew I was an analytical person, I observed something important about people and myself included.
When someone would do something irritating, I would build up an internal chatter about how annoying that person is right now and start to form a negative view towards the person. Later when I would build up enough courage to confront this person, he would explain why he does what he does. Immediately I would have a shift in perspective(joined with remorse and guilt) realizing he has a valid reason for doing what he is busy with and irritation would disappear.
The perspective change came too late, however, I upset myself(which influence the rest of my day) AND the person has had a bad encounter, leaving him also a bit irritated.
To 10-year-old me this was an injustice!
You should not get upset at someone, just because you have a narrow perspective.
My solution to this injustice was to trust that people have a good reason for doing what they are doing(this does not include when I can clearly see someone is being a fool), after all, people only do what is best in their perspective.
Most children did not understand this concept when I tried to convey my solution, because I was admittedly awkward with words.
a Book I read recently helped me remember this observation about 10 years ago and helps to explain:
Your perspective is linked to your attitude and behaviour. Two areas that society is very keen on improving, but it is also linked to your character, which, in my opinion, is a very important area to grow.
In other words, if you are able to change your perspective from irritation to trust, your attitude will change, which means you will not approach the person and upset both your days.
But is 'trust' really the best solution? After all, people are ass-holes.
As 10-year-old me grew up I became more fond of( and worked on improving) a few skills that turned out to be a better solution than trust, namely 'people reading', 'body language' and 'how/why people make certain choices'.
This is a big upgrade from 'trust'. Now I do not only stop myself from upsetting myself and the other person, but in fact help him the best way I see fit (by the way, most of the time to just leave the person alone is best, but when there is a better solution, having the skill to see it and act on it, is worth it).
So, see if you can put yourself in other people's shoes and learn why people do what they do. Like I said: People does what they think are best in their own perspective.
If you eventually broaden your perspective, you will have a much better time communicating with and understanding people.
Good luck ;)
