"I just realized that's my future standing in front of me." That was the most memorable line I gave to my ex. It's been three years now since we broke up. We didn't have the closure that most couple would do. A closure that would settle us down.

We had a boring way of knowing each other as we were on the same college department. She was doing great on her clinical subjects and requirements and I was struggling to pass. Yes, she was older than me.
We started out as friends, and as a lower batch I tend to asked her a lot of question about my subjects and she was too kind to answer everything.

I knew she had a crush on me that time but didn't bother to think because I don't date older girls. We continued as that until I felt something weird, I'm not sure what it was. Every time I saw her, I have the feeling of contentment and happiness at the same time. I was comfortable to her that I even shared my greatest fear and future plans that I don't normally do. Months passed by and then I realized that I was falling for her.

I told her that and then started to court her and not too long she told me that we are now officially together and that was December 3, 2015 and it was a great day. 

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For the past two months of our relationship, we were both happy and ecstatic, we were an inseparable duo behind the curtain off course because we are not out to the public because we wanted to avoid issues and it was okay for me. She was my everything, she was my world, she was the greatest gift God has given me. I was madly in love with her and it went to a point that I could sacrifice everything for her.

But there are two sides of the coin, her love for me began to fade even thou we were still on the first stage of our relationship. I was aware of that because after our third monthsary we seldom see each other, I wanted to see her but she was too busy. I understand her because she’s going to graduate soon and she needed to passed all her subjects and requirements.

Every day, I patiently waited for her text saying if we could meet but received nothing.

I was still thinking that she’s just busy, so I decided to be busy too instead. Clubbing and partying is my thing back then. Meeting some friends, then one night I was out with my friends we were doing party games at the club then I lose the bet so they dared me to kiss the girl sitting next to me. I told her that it was just a friendly kiss and after doing that I felt guilty. I did some shot the leave afterward. Later that night I told my ex girlfriend about what happened, she was mad and furious at me, she wanted a break up. I said sorry to her a lot of times but it is still not enough. She completely removed me onto her life. I was devastated and depressed for months, thinking every time that just by being honest to her because I loved her it had caused me everything. I knew I was wrong for what I did, but she should give me the chance to speak and explain myself personally. Many months passed by and no communication was made but I’m still in love with her. I considered her my T.O.T.G.A. (the one that got away).

2 long years is the time that it took me to completely get over her.

"At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life."

***Gif credit: giphy and tenor gif keyboard