Just finished watching Meet the Press and I really reacted to a comment by one of the panelists. The panel was discussing the many sexual harassment claims being made public and the cultural changes that may or may not occur. One well-spoken, middle aged, white, man made the comment that he is walking around in a "straight jacket" now to avoid any semblance of misbehavior. Really??!! Is it that difficult for you to treat a woman as a human being?
I find this so troubling, and the factors contributing are so varied, in my view. I am a white woman in the United States, which of course influences my view, but there are aspects of the dominant, capitalist culture that are just evident. We start with the "pink isle" in stores, the one where the girl toys are displayed in all their stereotypical sex role splendor. So much advertising is focused on women's appearance, pop culture sexualizes women to a nauseating degree. These factors set women up to be valued and viewed by their looks and objectified. And I think it is easy for many folks not to look past this limited view of women as a gender. We may see the women in our own lives for the intelligent, contributing, talented, multi-faceted people they are, but we humans tend to generalize "others."
If the extremely limited description of contributing factors above sounds like I am giving a "pass" to men because they may be blinded by cultural influences, I am not! What will cause men to see women as human beings? My sense, and evidence, suggests that men under 50 may be a little better at this, but I don't want to generalize too much.
Then there is the cultural focus on men's "virility." In our dominant, capitalist culture a man gains status when he is seen as bedding many or younger women, marrying a trophy wife, etc. In my work I encounter men in their 70's with life-limiting health problems. Even if there is no potential partner in sight, and they are too weak to masturbate, they want their Viagra.
As I write out my thoughts, I am struck by the limiting ways both women and men are stereotyped in our culture and how this contributes to sexual misbehavior. We have a lot of work to do. Bottom line is when someone says "no" we need to believe it and respect it. As Seth Meyers said in a recent monologue, "If a woman isn't attracted to your face, showing her your dick probably isn't going to help."