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I tried fully to understand myself when I feel down, devastated, angry, and even happy—the actions that lead me to those moments, and what happens after each of them. I always wonder why? and ask myself why I should feel that today I am happy, feeling well, and after it comes trouble. But then the answer narrows down to nature itself; I love nature because in it lies all the answers that we ask ourselves.
Think of this event and draw a conclusion.
In what I observe lies the tale, the answer to why me and you can feel both cold and still feel the warmth the world or our surroundings impact on us.
The theory I always observe, and even, you do it, only maybe you fail to bring it into your life and make a conclusion, a picture that fits your situation.
It starts...
I always sit at a bench in our center only to observe how light disappears and darkness takes charge.
People walk past me; they don’t ask why I am sitting on that same bench daily. I don’t read; I just sit and watch. I open my ears wide to grasp what is said—the echoes, the movements. My aim is just to see how darkness arrives.
Though I love the events, I have never seen how the darkness arrives. But one thing I am sure of:
"Even if I was to see it coming, I am sure I won’t do anything about it—only just to walk slowly, head down to my place. But one thing I can change is just the position where I sit, but I can’t change when the night arrives."
I always observe the night and wonder:
why can’t I see in it? Just like how both wild and domestic animals see. But still, my curiosity narrows down to the point of accepting my very words...
Maybe I don’t need to see in darkness, but to accept that the light is gone. What should I do? Maybe I should wait for the light. But why do animals see in darkness and more clearly? I think they don’t fear the darkness, but use it for their own benefit.
My take is:
if I don’t fear the darkness, then I am sure I would be able to differentiate between light and darkness when I need to see or when I need to close my eyes.
"I will see in darkness if I don’t fear it and use it for my own benefit. I won’t know when darkness comes, but at least I will see in the darkness because I don’t fear it. I wish I only had light ahead of me, but then I know for time to move and call it a day, I will still see light and darkness, and the completion of each brings the other one. The pattern never changes, but the time for it will always change."
The bottom line is that I know for sure I will always feel down, and so will you. The funny part is it won’t stop, but keeps repeating itself day after day, time after time.
Psychology backs this up by adding this:
(i) It is like an evolutionary signal:
I can agree, but not all is a signal; most prepare for what is coming as days go by.
(ii) A cognitive triad—this is pioneered by Aaron Beck. The research shows that deep emotional distress activates:
(i) Negative view about yourself
(ii) Your environment
(iii) Your future
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sunset, beach, woman
Photo by Cybèle and Bevan on Unsplash
Psychology also tries to find solutions.
Some of them can work, but they can’t work in all cases and also may not bring the warmth that is missing to everyone. But first, let us look at them.
(i) Behavioral doings—use of actions, because when you are down, the brain tends to isolate and stay still, hence causing the sadness.
Doing something that you truly love or that can make you forget about what you are going through can help a lot.
(ii) Trying to tame the sadness, or trying to know the extent of what you are in, and trying to find peace in it.
Sounds awkward, but maybe you need to see in darkness and use that darkness for your own benefit.
(iv) Cognitive restructuring, i.e., questioning your thoughts.
Thoughts determine what we process and what will happen if we follow them. Imagine taking life as a burden and thinking it all over and over again; at the end, that will be in your thoughts and will guide you.
it has been a long time since I posted here but now. I am prepared for it.
this story was originally writen by me in medium and link https://medium.com/@omwegareagan9