Is Satan Really to Blame For All Our Problems? | The Phenomenom that is Satan
Oh Yeah! Of course Satan SHOUlD be blamed for all our problems. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
You didn't study for a test, had a house party all night, and you ended up failing the test miserably? Why, blame Satan!
You weren't paying attention while walking down the road, your eyes being too busy working up and down a girl's ass, and you ended up falling inside a ditch? Blame satan!
You felt like a professional casino player in Las Vegas and you decided to risk your entire life savings on a single turn of card that you ended up losing? Blame Satan.
Your wife left you because you're a lazy prick who can't get up--or get it up-- in the morning and find a job to do; who keeps getting fired in every place he was lucky to be hired in because he cant get along with people? Oh yes please, go ahead, Blame Satan.
You missed a job interview because you were up all night watching the entire videos on the YouTube channel of a makeup artist (insert your favorite) and then when you finally did wake up in the morning you spent the better part of your time practicing what you learnt on the sacred art of make-up? Of course, blame Satan! That motherfuckerrrrrr!
You drank too much at a party because your friends were doing the same and the peer pressure made you forget you had Gastro Esophegeal Reflux Disease, and now your liver is all fucked up and feels like its being grinded?
Oh buddy the solution is simple: Blame. Satan.
You lost your soulmate because he had been asking you out for the past five years and you didn't say yes because you can't decide whether or not you're still in love with a guy that you had a one night stand with about six years ago who doesn't even like you but likes only what's under your skirt? Worry not, dear sister, Satan can take the blame!
There are hundreds of millions of kids starving all over the frigging world all due to our collective neglect, but no, Satan, take the blame!
Poor Satan. Satan Satan.
You see, the real beauty about the brilliant phenomenon that is Satan is that he's always there to take your blame. He's always willing to do that and he never shirks the responsibility, whereas the greatest evil he does at any rate is that he lets you believe that he is responsible for all your stupid mistakes and consequently instead of working on them, you keep on blaming him!
Instead of working on yourself or whatever the real cause of the quandary is and progressing in life, you keep on pressing the blame on poor old willing Satan, and all the while he laughs at you--the proverbial "Satan"--because he knows the greatest evil he can do to you is being done!
And if peradventure you should turn out to waste your ENTIRELY life putting the blame on Satan, and end up a crushing failure without prospect when all you had to do was pretty much own up to your colossal fuck-ups and work on them and work on yourself...well then, YOU CAN STILL. BLAME IT. ON. SATAN!
His entire business is based on the slogan, "Blame It On Me", and you my friend, are a customer!
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P.S:
It goes without saying but still should be said that these answers are addressed to NO ONE IN PARTICULAR but only serve to be a illustration on an episode of a lesson on collective human stupidity.
Cheers and admire the sublimity of that prose style!