What a wonderful prompt for this edition! How private should one be? Due to my experience, this particular question is to be considered in two ways, which I will be discussing. Privacy is like a door to a house, you can choose to open it to whoever is standing outside likewise you can choose not to open the door.
As humans, we all need our privacy, whether male or female, and sometimes when we don't get enough of it as we deserve, it is not always good for us due to our loved ones interference in our lives.
I, as a person, always try my possible best not to disrupt my loved ones privacy because I wouldn't like it if mine was disrupted too. On Monday, I had a little misunderstanding with my best friend on a privacy issue. She wanted me to ask her every time what's going on in her mind, and this is something I can't do because I believe it's like me trying to meddle in her private life, but she didn't see it that way. But me, I believe in what one tells me with his or her mouth. I do think if there is something such an individual wants me to know about him or her, he or she will deliberately open up to me instead of me asking, which will now look like I'm poking.
In this scenario, I was asking myself what the best approach is in order to please her and not break my rule too. The reason why I said this question should be considered in two ways is that, firstly, as humans, we should understand our individual uniqueness and deal with everyone according to their uniqueness. Some people will want you in every phase of their lives; they will want you on their life journey. When this happens, you have to be with them, and this set of people doesn't see it as an intrusion on privacy; in fact, they love it more and appreciate it. With this set of people, you will be free to talk with them more conveniently and build stronger relationships.
Secondly, there are other sets of people who think there are some things you are not supposed to know about their private lives that they keep private for life. You, being kind and caring, would be asking them how things are going in their lives, but instead it will be considered overstepping your boundaries and an intrusion. Some people believe their lives should be as private as anything to keep people's eyes off them, but this poses some dangers, and I will share a scenario that happened to my late aunt due to privacy (I don't want people to hear).
My late aunt of blessed memory was a very kind and friendly person, and I loved her for that, but one thing about her that doesn't seem right to me is her thinking she can handle things herself, and I understand because she singlehandedly sponsored her education into becoming a nurse that she was before her death. Her husband is also a secretive man who believes other people, either friends or family, are not worth relying on.
My late aunt felt ill, to the point of surgery, and both she and her husband didn't tell any of the family members. The illness was so serious that she was taken out of the hospital because they couldn't find a solution to her illness anymore, and yet they didn't open up. The case deteriorated till she died. That was when her husband deemed it fit to inform the family that she was ill, but now she is dead. We were all shocked and angry because we were imagining how they could be secretive about her illness. Is that part of privacy? If they've opened up, I'm sure to some extent that my aunt could still be alive, but what will be will be. It was a difficult situation for everyone in the family when she died because the family believes that her being private about her life and affairs cost her that much.
In these two different cases, as a loved one, what exactly would you do? Is it forcing yourself to be in someone's life while the person doesn't want you in it that much or excluding yourself from someone's life while he or she wants you to be fully involved in it?
Well, as for me, I would rather wait and watch if such an individual wants me in his or her life, not just being there but being fully involved, than forcing myself into a space where I don't belong. If one wants me out of his or her private life, I will surely be there, and if it's vice versa, you will definitely not see me there, so I think individuals should be left to decide if they want their loved ones in their privacy or not instead of being a bug.
Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.
