I tied my happiness to other people and their expectations, especially at school and at home. I feel:
"When I get an A it'll make them happy, then I'll be happy."
"If I make all my teachers happy, I will be happy."
"If I make my parents happy, I will be happy."
In the end, I was always thinking, "If I make 'them' happy, I'll be happy."
A good sentiment I'm sure you'll agree. The only teeny, tiny, minor problem was that I wasn't happy. I tied my happiness to other people and completely forgot whether what I was doing was actually making me happy. And, really, didn't they want me to do what I wanted instead of constantly trying to please them? It's ridiculously obvious when written that way, but if that's what you do, you're not exactly alone.
The trap of pinning your happiness on things outside of yourself.
If you associate your happiness with other people, you will never be able to control it, because you cannot control them. If they aren't happy or aren't behaving the way you want them to, what does this mean for you? Similarly, if you associate your happiness with your dreams and goals and achievements, it will always be fleeting. Because there is always another dream or goal or achievement.
If you tie your happiness to things, it doesn't last. Because you always want more stuff. And you'll always say, "When I get that, I'll be happy." If you tie your happiness to money, it will escape you, because there is always more money to earn. You will say, "When I have that much, then I will be happy."
That's why people who have achieved a lot sometimes speak of that emptiness: they have tied their happiness to something external. Yes, they've achieved a lot and they have a lot of money and stuff, but they're the ones who say, "When I've got it, I'll be happy," "When I get that much money, I would be happy." It never ends because, as I've explained, there's always something else going on. more stuff. more money.
There's only one reason you're not happy...
So what is one reason you are not happy? This is because you are not tying your happiness to yourself. You are not trying it to who you are. You are 100% in control of these things, and so you can be as happy as you want, wherever you are, as long as you want. Of course, it will shake from time to time, but it can always get back to the rock-solid bass that you are. And yes, you will grow and develop, but you will still be you. You are the master of your own happiness. We all do.
Now I hear you ask, "Mohit, oh wise (well, you probably didn't say that), how did you tie your happiness to yourself?" I tell you. I found out what was important to me. What really mattered to me, and why. Because I was - and am - and once I accepted who I really was, I was so proud of me. I was happy.
why you should choose to be happy.
One of the regrets that really struck me as I read this was: "I wish I'd let myself be happy." To reiterate: This is one of the top 5 people regrets as they approach the end of their lives. I think this is telling a lot. Maybe they finally realized that happiness is a choice. Do you allow yourself to be happy? If you died yesterday, would you have the same regret?
If you're not completely happy (which isn't the same as being sad or sad), I'll leave you with these questions:
What would you have to give up to be happy?
What would you do when you let yourself be happy?
