It's been two months since I last published anything here, or anywhere else to be honest.
I've been kind of inactive everywhere, because I had other things I wanted to do. I'm not gonna lie to you - those things weren't related to productivity, or improvement, or anything that would help anyone move forward in life.
I've mostly been busy playing games, watching movies, watching YouTube videos and reading all kind of things.
I've been kind of lazy, but that's mostly because I got the opportunity to work somewhere good, and I'm waiting for the work to start, and that gave me a sense of security that made me feel comfortable not doing too much with my time (actually, I did work on small things, even using one of the games I'm playing to better learn Excel).
Funny enough, being lazy and doing nothing but playing games, watching movies and reading, actually helped me relax, a lot more than anything I tried in the past few years. So I guess being lazy and procrastinating isn't always a bad thing.
But another reason why I haven't been creating and posting content is because of something that I like to call "the curse of the writer". It sounds better than "the course of the content creator" or anything I thought about so far, so I'll keep that name for now.
The "curse" is actually really simple, and I'm sure a lot of people experienced it at some point in their life. I'm talking about self doubt.
Now, some people, for some reason, don't seem to have this self doubt that hinders their ability to create or post content. Some people just post whatever's in their head, and wait for something to happen.
Sadly, it doesn't apply to me, and I'm sure there are a lot of other people that experience the same thing. I don't even have a number for all the articles I wrote, or started writing, and deleted, because of self doubt.
It can manifest in many ways - doubting that anyone will like what I wrote, or find it interesting; doubting my own ability to write about a specific topic; doubting my own knowledge on a topic that I might not feel like I master.
Whatever the case, self doubt has been the biggest enemy I have encountered throughout my content creation "career", no matter what I created, be it articles, 3D or 2D art, videos, coding, etc.
It's a "curse" that comes, and never (or rarely) goes away, and it's one of the reasons why people stop creating and posting content (among others).
As with some of the content I wrote lately, this is just an observational article. I don't really have a solution for self doubt. At least not a permanent one. I've tried many things in the past, and nothing really stuck with me, or did an amazing job at keeping me from deleting my barely or fully written unpublished articles.
But, even without a proper permanent solution, acknowledging the problem, and knowing it's there, might be a temporary and light solution to some people who can't figure out why it's so hard for them to publish anything.