I'm close to being done with work. Just approximately 18 more days and I'll have a few months at my disposal to rest and spend my time as I wish, after doing nothing except work for 7 months. I'm looking forward to taking a break from writing as well.
I've been making an effort, as you might already know, to write and post an article every single day since April. Somehow, I succeeded. I had to sacrifice some of the other things that I liked doing in order to have the time to write, but I don't regret it. I made progress when it comes to the quantity of articles I wrote, my own skill and even when it comes to money.
Something I noticed lately is that writing is just part of my daily routine right now. I don't necessarily look forward to it every single day, but I don't hate when the moment to write comes either. It's just an activity that I keep doing every day because I chose to a while ago.
The lack of feelings I have regarding this particular thing that I'm doing is a bit interesting to me. I always am either very excited about what I do, or quite bored. Or a mixture of the two. I rarely feel almost nothing.
But it is the case right now. I do not dislike writing, but at this moment it's not what I most want to do when I get home from work. It's just a part of my day that helps me communicate my thoughts, ideas, and allows me to move forward in certain areas.
I asked myself "is this what being passionate about something means?" I guess it depends. I'm not, in this moment, passionate about writing in the way that it's being portrayed in the media or online. I don't wake up every morning thinking only about writing and nothing else, not being able to wait until I get to type.
I also asked myself "is this an self inflicted obligation, like a job that I chose to do?" and the answer is no. I can stop whenever I wish. I don't make so much money out of my articles that I'll lose too much if I would simply stop publishing.
And so, I am stuck, in a way. I like to write, because if I would hate it I wouldn't do it. But I don't feel a constant feeling of love and passion for it. So, what is writing to me right now? A way of communication? A skill that I became good enough at that I can practice it again and again without feeling frustrated when failing? I don't know.
But I do know that I got to this place by just writing every single day, without exception. It's like brushing my teeth. I did it for so long, without failure, that now I just don't even have to think about it. I just do it. The same, apparently, applies to writing. Perhaps this is what it truly means to make a habit out of something you want to do.