This weekend i went on a short road trip. I met a few new people who where all going through rough times in their relationships and I found a common trend among all of them…
These couples where all dealing with different problems,
Falling out of love, feeling like they are being lied to or having information hidden, raising children, jealousy, difference of opinion.
They all shared one thing in common.
Each of these issues stemmed from a lack of proper communication with each other. As soon as they were separated, feelings and emotions would come flowing out from both sides. But as soon as they were together again, it would stop.
For their own reasons, they would refuse to express how they felt to the person that needed to hear it the most.
Speaking your mind, spilling out your emotions, expressing yourself… It is hard. As soon as you choose to do this, you leave yourself exposed. This can potentially open yourself to the things we all try to avoid.
Things like confrontation, conflicts, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings .
It can create the possibility of losing something you care about.
These are, of course, terrible things that make complete sense to try avoiding. But it is also important to counter-balance that with what the cost of avoiding these things is.
If a relationship of any kind can only be maintained by needing to lie, hide things, or suppressing how you feel…
is it a relationship worth having?
“You can have regret from yesterday, fear tomorrow, but peace today by sharing your heart’s deepest feelings. A life spent being fearful of showing your soul is a life not worth living.”
― Shannon L. Alder
I am sure its easy to think of an example of this kind of “relationship”. Either because of someone you know, or because you are in one yourself.
Relationships where, if one side knew everything the other thought, or said, or did, there would be no relationship at all. This is unhealthy and usually soul crushing.
Keeping these unnatural relationships from falling apart requires so much energy that they usually end up collapsing in on themselves. It can cause one of both sides to lose who they are. It is either delaying the inevitable or sacrificing far too much.
Most of us will not speak our minds because we are afraid of the consequences.
Remember that if it is a real friendship or romance worth having, that the person will always support you being yourself and it will make it stronger in the end. That isn’t to say that there won’t be any conflict as a result. This becomes more true the longer you keep these feelings to yourself.
The longer you let it go on, the longer the relationship evolves in the wrong direction. So of course trying to set it right may create some waves.
While its true that this may put stress on a relationship, in the long run it will always be for the best to be true to yourself.
When you least expect it, someone may actually listen to what you have to say.
― Maggie Kuhn
Now, speaking your mind is definitely important, but always keep in mind that diplomacy is still important for the sake of the relationship.
The approach you take in making your inner feelings known is very important. A lot of what we choose to bottle up comes from negative emotion, and negative emotions have a way of making us express ourselves in the worst ways.
So always try to make sure you aren’t overwhelmed by these emotions when you choose to reveal them. Take time to calm down, think about what you have to say, and present it in the best way to make it go as smoothly as possible.
Don’t be afraid to be unique or speak your mind, because that’s what makes you different from everyone else.
― Dave Thomas
This was an article from my website thepathweshare.org. If you liked it then check out my website for many more!
