Last few weeks, around 20 days to be exact, my life has been experiencing a rollercoaster ride— not so pleasant yet with promises I cannot afford to miss.
From meeting families, friends, and well-wishers to strangers turned dudes, so many faces to recollect in one attempt; life's going good minus the scorching heat the country is experiencing these days. Sometimes it's on the bus, train, and even on the infamous motorbike my father owns— travelling through districts was my everyday schedule until today when my first ever air journey took place taking me to the capital city for a longer flight; approximately 14 hours and some minutes. It's a thousands of miles journey from my home for what I was waiting patiently. Somewhere in this world I will find a new nest to rest after a long days exhausting attempt for survival.
Time flies and somehow, I managed to comprehend it thoroughly. I didn't know 3 weeks is bare minimum to say goodbye to the souls my heart is connected to. But nothing to complain— 3 years wouldn't be enough to bid farewell to them. Some relationships aren't meant for a pause; not even for a brief moment.
But this is what we call life— we need to let go for greater good. Some sacrifices are made for a greater bonding. But they aren't consoling enough. Nothing can replace separation. This wound can't be healed unless you are inhumane enough to overlook the tears shed in silence, away from people.
This evening I was accompanied by a few of my relatives and friends when departing for the main flight. I tried to stay calm— damn, I was calm until the engine roared and wheels rolled. Eyes got soaked with glittering tears. Vision got blurred but I didn't let others get a clue. Quite a mature attempt to help others keep their tears in control. But I knew deep down my mother was crying. My father didn't come to see me off— for that he needs a personal space to cry a river. While we were busy boarding the domestic flight, I knew his heart was bleeding like never before. We all learned to keep our emotions in check. But bursting into tears would be more helpful— letting out emotions in their natural ways indeed helps lighten the mood. For the moment, at least.
Still, I couldn't. I didn't want them to see me mentally shaken. That's why I couldn't ask my boy to look after his little sister. But I was planning to bestow this heavy responsibility on him the whole day. Every time I rehearsed this particular situation, I couldn't hold my tears. A simple sentence, yet, I can't utter it with confidence. Perhaps, I won't be able to do it even over the phone. Just thinking about it is turning my eyes into a wet pool, so, this order can wait till I develop a stone heart over time.
Till then, let's face the bittersweet essence of life.