Why is it so easy to calculate the weight of a dragon, even though they may weigh thousands of pounds? Because they're covered in scales!

I knew a guy who couldn't kick the smack habit... I guess it's really hard-he tried over and over to quit, but it was always in vein

Although I've never been to the Pacific Northwest, I always pictured the city of Seattle being my own personal Nirvana...

My family has made it's name in this country from breeding exotic frogs. My great grandmother brought some specimens from Warsaw when she was just a little girl and we have been breeding them for decades,

What genre of music do they blast as the ice cream truck drives down your street in the Summer? NOVELTY MUSIC!

Ha!.. I was so focused on the bears that I totally forgot about the BIG GUY!

Did you hear about the chemist who loved to enter pun contests?? He was known to submit to them periodically!

I have the r8m, and I believe I actually have the jazz card.

Very interesting...I like the idea of cutting out the "middle man." But the whole background check thing provides a safety factor for Uber, with a cost I'm sure... And people might happily pay

I have at least a dozen more...I will be posting them around hive, certainly more in your group to come!

I went to a live taping of SNL once, it was a SHORT ride from the hotel, we drove my CHEVY. This was in the good old days...Some of those old cast members had a lot of HART,MAN. They really were CARVEYNG

I told my grandma that she needed more B vitamins in her life, but she didn't know what I was referring to... "You know, B12, B6, B1, B2, B5-the B vitamins," I said She told me that I was really

Did you hear about the vampire that never drank blood, he just loved to give hickeys??? He was a real neck-romancer!

I'll never forget last Halloween when a hooker unexpectedly showed up on my doorstep... She said, "trick or treat!?" I gave her my whole bucket of candy.

I knew the caterpillar was getting ready for the ultimate trip because his pupae was dilating

The worker bee comes home after a long day of work. "Honey, I'm home! Ooh, I am just bee-ee-eeat, these guys at the office had me buzzing around like crazy today!...how is my Queen today?" 'Huh?

.. But how is that Behringer clone??

Yeah this movie was really boring and left a lot to be desired...I remember lots of flashy hip hop beats and face closeups and mtv video style camera shooting, which I felt was trying to appeal to the

I have so many birds in my neighborhood, it drives me crazy....it's just too much cacaw-phony for me!

I was trying to think of a good Wisconsin pun, But most of them were pretty cheesy...