Here is a random blurb that may even fall under a social anxiety rambling. There is a clear direction to ultimately discuss dating, but I find it hard to categorize this. Thank you for taking a moment to read it!
It is important to note that in person, I am hard to read. I go from having eye contact to looking at everything except eyes. I notice things others may not, but I am not trying to be rude. On really high anxiety days, I cannot even take off my jacket because it feels like a security blanket helping keep me safe. It is entirely possible that I am too honest about things that have happened in my life; whereas, others would have kept that information to themselves. For me, it’s just what has happened and I do not care if people know. I.E. - My dad has done drugs since before I was around. That is just what it is and I am over it. If anything, he’s my anti-drug and I take drug usage seriously.
On the flip side, I am overly social online. I warn people that I will send random meme’s or snippets of things I find funny. My disclosure usually includes ‘if this is too much, just say something please’. I do not mind people saying ‘Quilty stop’ or ‘Don’t bug me on Tuesday’s please’. I actually rely on that because this is clear to me. They are expressing their needs and that is not a reflection on my personage.
As a logical person, I regularly wish I could just display exuberant confidence in everything. To be bold at every turn. Be someone who is regularly a lively person. Where I would not care what other people thought. God knows I am striving for it, and I have made great progress. Frequently I go to practice a martial art that is new. I suck at it, there’s a lot of people in the room, and my heart rate is about 115 just walking into that room. (Thank you fitness device letting me know). Using my words, I will talk myself down and try to keep a level head. This is just how I am as a person.
My curiosity wonders, is this new? Based on my conversations with others, this is pretty common behavior. So I extend my question. Is it just American culture? Do we find it socially acceptable to disappear rather than saying the uncomfortable thing? Feel free to jump into these topics in the comments. I would sincerely love to know if I’m alone in this.
((Doggo being adorable. Trying to convince me that she should not be in trouble.))
