Author of this content has low reputation.
Yes, the first months are the worst but give yourself a chance. It’s worth it! You’ll turn the corner at 3 months. I look back on the attention and money I gave to my habits that I did not give to my kids and family and, yes, it makes me sad, but it also motivates me now. Are you in therapy? It can help. Are you reading any addiction or recovery books or podcasts? Also helpful. New good habits to replace the old bad ones? Helpful. There might also be support groups in your area. A successful strategy employs all the necessary tools. Be vigilant! If you do the work, it can happen. I wish you success!