Oh, I'm so sorry...I know what it's like to lose a loved one. It's hard to see them go. I don't know you, but I give you my deepest condolences and I'm not telling you to be strong, no. I'm telling you to cry; cry a lot, cry loudly, cry silently, however you want, but get out all that pain you carry inside you. It is the only way to heal or alleviate a little of the pain. Little by little, it is a slow process and it never stops hurting. We just learn to live with it and to remember those loved ones from resignation and the same love we profess to them and they to us.