Ha HA ha
This was so funny to read and even brought me joy! It was a complete and, like you said "collective", failure!
Someone had made me watch the first one with them and I hated it.

Sometimes it absolutely blows my mind that a 'finished' product like this went through so many checks ... and at every checkpoint, someone looked at it and said, "Yes, this is good. Let's go with this,"
?‽?